In her own words, Emma Koubayssi is "hanging on by a thread".
For the past three months, the former communications professional has been at the centre of a campaign to save the much-loved Lanark care home where her 92-year-old grandmother has been a resident for the past five years after she and other families were blindsided by moves to close the premises.
Council-owned McClymont House is currently home to 17 elderly residents, many with dementia, but its future hangs in the balance amid a £7 million black hole in South Lanarkshire's social care budget.
The health and social care partnership (HSCP) estimates that getting rid of the home - consistently rated one of the best in Scotland by inspectors - could deliver savings of around £786,000 a year, as well as paving the way to the redevelopment of the site into "progressive" social housing designed to enable tenants with "varying needs" to live independently at home for longer.
A public consultation is now underway, with a closing day of February 29, but health chiefs are facing a fierce backlash from relatives who fear their loved ones will not survive being uprooted to unfamiliar care homes tens of miles away, as well as opposition from a local community which prizes McClymont as a "jewel in the crown" when it comes to social care.
More than 3,500 people have already backed the 'Save McClymont' campaign.
"The situation is really challenging - it's very hard emotionally," said Ms Koubayssi, who grew up in Crossford and now lives in Glasgow.
"It's putting a lot of stress on the families. People are not sleeping. We're all trying to challenge something that we don't think is right, but I'm hanging on by a thread - I'm really struggling."
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Like many of the other relatives affected, Ms Koubayssi said it had been "heartbreaking" for her family when they took the decision to place her 'Nana', Margaret Michie, into residential care as her dementia deteriorated.
"She had carers, but she'd fall out of bed or be found sitting on the floor for hours. My Nana was such a proud person, but Alzheimer's is a horrendous disease."
The family took comfort from the "amazing" care and kindness Mrs Michie received at McClymont, but fear the impact of a sudden move.
Council-run premises in Rutherglen and East Kilbride are among those on the table.
McClymont, which has 27 beds including one nine-bed wing which has lain empty since 2020, is already closed to new admissions despite local demand.
One person who requested a place for their elderly father - a Lanark resident - was turned down, and subsequently called round 27 other care homes only to be told they were full.
"There's something on their doorstep, but they can't get in," said Ms Koubayssi.
The HSCP has insisted that, were McClymont to close, there would be "no adverse impact" on the residents.
However, one dementia expert, speaking to the Herald on condition of anonymity, said that the evidence is clear that "any form of move with an older person does shorten their life".
The physical environment is the "biggest non-pharmacological intervention" affecting a person with dementia, he added, meaning that a sudden change exacerbates symptoms and disorientation.
He said: "The thing that has troubled me about McClymont House is the fact that it is one of a small number of homes in Scotland that have maintained very good grades from the regulator both pre- and post-Covid.
"We've seen a huge reduction in grades of care homes post-Covid for one reason or another, but McClymont has maintained consistent grades which illustrates to me that the standard of care and the care practice that goes on within McClymont House is second to none.
"It's a home with a phenomenal reputation, both locally and nationally.
"I was in talks with a colleague who works for the regulator and her exact words were 'I cannot believe this is happening'.
"This is a very sad example whereby something quite remarkable and amazing is going on, where people's quality of life is being maintained to a very high standard, and there's a huge risk to that because it's absolutely inevitable that - should the home close - it will affect these people's quality of life, without a shadow of a doubt."
Campaigners have criticised the HSCP's handling of the affair.
Plans to close McClymont were announced out of the blue in September when staff were called to an impromptu meeting, and relatives received letters in the post.
Days earlier they had been notified that the home's fees were being hiked by £25 a week, backdated to April.
The HSCP subsequently backtracked, insisting no decisions had been reached, but it has left many suspicious of the consultation process.
"There's an assumption that the consultation is just a foregone conclusion," said Stephen Smellie, the branch secretary for Unison in South Lanarkshire.
The trade union represents around 40 of the 50 staff based at McClymont, who Mr Smellie said feel "demoralised" by events.
He added: "There's not been a lot of communication. They've been left to wonder what's going on.
"Their main concern continues to be that this is going to be really upsetting for the residents."
Mr Smellie said that while McClymont and other local authority homes had struggled in the past with staffing, a job evaluation exercise led by Unison had resulted in a "reasonable" increase in pay for care assistants and care workers which had resulted in McClymont being able to fill some long-term vacancies shortly before a recruitment freeze was imposed.
If the HSCP were to open up the nine-bed wing which is currently empty, Mr Smellie said it would require just two or three extra staff and be cheaper for the council than covering the cost of nine residents in private care homes.
Self-funding residents could also generate revenue for the HSCP.
"I think they could fill those vacancies and open up that wing, but they've just steadfastly refused to do it," said Mr Smellie.
"The response I got was that it would still make McClymont more expensive, but for those nine beds it would be cheaper.
"But the attitude seems to be 'we've got this budget shortfall, what can we do? - let's shut the homes'. It's the low-hanging fruit."
In addition to McClymont House, the 16-bed Dewar House in Hamilton - also run by the council - is earmarked for closure, bringing the total potential savings to £1.5 million.
The situation in Lanark is mirrored across Scotland, where the number of council-run care homes has shrunk from 161 to 117 over the past decade - a 27% reduction versus 5% for the private sector.
A care-at-home agenda, compounded by budget pressures, has accelerated the trend.
Tom Barrie, whose 82-year-old aunt, Frances Thomson, has been in McClymont for a year, said its residential care homes were once "the pride and joy of South Lanarkshire council".
Until his retirement nine years ago, Mr Barrie was the head of performance and support services for South Lanarkshire's social work department.
He questions the rationale for closing McClymont.
He said: "NHS Lanarkshire has one of the worst records for delayed discharge - it's 15% above the average just now - so there's a lot of bed blocking going on. Apart from that there's just no capacity up here in other care homes.
"The two local care homes - one's got 25 on the waiting list and the other's got 41, so you can't imagine where they're actually planning to put all our relatives if it goes ahead and closes.
"For folk to go to East Kilbride or Rutherglen, the public transport here's not great - it's a couple of hours travel before you'd get to see the person.
"It doesn't look good at all."
Mr Barrie's cousin, Lee Thomson - a nurse, born and bred in Lanark - started the petition to save McClymont and her daughter, Rosalyn, runs the Save McClymont Facebook group.
"The day I got the letter [about it closing] that was it, I thought 'no, I'm not letting this go without a fight', and it's just snowballed from there," said Ms Thomson.
"I think they thought it would be an easy touch - they've had a fright that we've come back so strongly."
Ms Thomson, 60, had tried to keep her mother at home with carers visiting four times a day until her dementia made it unsafe, but said she settled into McClymont "extremely well, extremely quickly".
"She knew McClymont. When she was well, she was in and out doing charity things so she knew the manager, she knew the layout, her friends could visit her there.
"If she ends up in Rutherglen or East Kilbride, that will end because they can't all drive now.
"I haven't even told Mum what's happening - my guilt levels are already through the roof as it is.
"We're just so, so upset about it. She has a very close bond with some of the carers. They're so kind.
"The whole feel of the place is lovely."
Her anxiety is shared by Mary Calveley, whose 92-year-old mother May McNee, has been at McClymont for six years.
Mrs McNee uses a wheelchair after suffering a stroke which partially paralysed her left-hand side.
However, the mother-of-four, who retired to Biggar, has full cognitive function and enjoys regular outings from McClymont with her family as well as excursions and get-togethers organised by the local church and charities.
Her friends, who live locally, are also regular visitors.
"If they move her, Mum will lose all of that social side," said Mrs Calveley, who blames her mother's stress about the situation for triggering two recent mini-strokes.
"She coped exceptionally well with her first stroke - she's a strong woman, she always was. She worked all her days, and brought up four children, but I do see a big difference in her now.
"She's the one who brings it up, asking what's happening. I say 'well, it's mostly about money', and she'll come back with 'but we're human beings'.
"They talk about keeping people in their homes for all the right reasons, but this is my Mum's home - McClymont is my mum's home, and yet they want to do the complete opposite.
"I can count on one hand the number of times I've been to East Kilbride. They might as well take her to France - she does not know that area at all, none of her friends are there.
"I feel like she'll become a recluse, which will kill her. Loneliness is a killer. One of the times she did say to me 'you know, I just want to go to sleep and not wake up'. That just broke my heart.
"This is our parents' lives. It affects each and every one of us, and I think that's why we've had the backing of so many people in Lanark, because it could be them - it could be their mother, it could be their father."
Craig Cunningham, head of commissioning and performance of South Lanarkshire University Health & Social Care Partnership, said: “Whilst we recognise that any consultation on local services can be an anxious time, we would make absolutely clear no decision has been taken about the future of this or any other care home.
“The consultation is being carried out in compliance with national guidance, with impartiality reinforced under the oversight of an independent advisory panel. Information on the consultation is also publicly available on our website.”
Mr Cunningham added: “The operational decision taken not to reopen the closed wing in McClymont House was taken principally because of ongoing staff recruitment challenges. Despite numerous attempts, we have been unable to recruit sufficient numbers of staff. This position is reflective of well-publicised recruitment challenges nationally.
“Based on our experience to date, if we were able to secure the staff required to re-open these residential care beds (which we are unlikely to) the most likely outcome of re-opening the third wing is that our overall costs would increase.
“We have a duty of care to the 17 residents of McClymont House and will continue to review and meet their needs and prioritise their wellbeing throughout the consultation process and beyond it, regardless of the outcome.”
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