IF The Teacher (Channel 5, Monday-Thursday) was a paper from a pupil instead of the latest headline-grabbing drama starring Sheridan Smith, it would have “See me” written in red in the top corner. (Was there ever a combination of words more terrifying? In adult life the equivalent would be, “We’re now joined by Nadine Dorries”.)
Smith played Jenna Garvey, an English teacher who was more Jackie Collins than Mr Chips. Jenna prided herself on her ability to connect with her pupils. She also wore short skirts, went clubbing on school nights, and woke up in strangers’ beds without a clue how she had got there.
She might as well have gone the whole hog and wore a T-shirt saying, “Look, I’m clearly to blame for the pupil-teacher scandal coming my way” (it was an XXL t-shirt, printed both sides).
For a drama that set out to challenge assumptions it was an oddly overblown and provocative characterisation. Just as irritating was the shoal of red herrings, the introduction of a key character late in the day (naughty), and it was hard to believe Jenna walked out of court with just a six month suspended sentence and community service.
Smith powered on through the increasingly far-fetched tale, taking the audience with her, right up to the ambiguous ending. What would television drama do without her?
Channel 4 let some new start by the name of Andrew Neil loose on the Dispatches documentary, Boris Johnson: Has He Run Out of Road? (Channel 4, Sunday). It was the story of partygate with us watching Neil, watching it, unfold. But we had already seen the clips he had, and the whole story was so fresh in the mind that you wondered why the big man and Channel 4 had bothered.
Still, just as Boris Johnson brings the chaos, so Neil brings his gravitas and, just as important, his contacts book. So he got a sit-down with Michael Gove, for instance, when no-one else could, and he was able to speak about Johnson from the position of his former boss at The Spectator (lazy Johnson, realising the jig was up as editor, made an “amicable departure”).
Better still was Neil’s magnificent indignation, which every now and then erupted like a volcano. Oh to have been in the room after the cameras were switched off. The newbie is reported to be starting a new politics show on the channel this year. He might just have a future in this lark.
Six years after the plug was pulled on BBC3 as a television channel, it was relaunched on Tuesday with a party. Or was it a work event? So hard to tell. Anyway, a wrong was righted. Not everything worked on the original channel, but BBC3 was young, cheeky, and gave viewers Normal People, Fleabag, and, my favourite, the rural mockumentary This Country.
Relaunch night saw the start of RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK versus the World. The contest to find a queen of the globe was an orgy of air kissing and, for now, low level sniping. There are five more episodes to go, though. “Play nicely, ladies,” said Mama Ru. Oh, I do hope not.
The Great Cookbook Challenge with Jamie Oliver (Channel 4, Monday) arrived with what seemed like success baked in. For a start, it had the word “great” in the title, as in Bake-Off, Sewing Bee, Pottery Throw Down, etc, and it was hosted by the Naked Chef himself, Jamie Oliver, the UK’s bestselling cookbook author. The prize was a publishing deal. Pretty impressive, as was Oliver’s HQ, to which budding authors were invited to have their food professionally photographed and make their pitches to the judges.
The first six of 18 contestants included a trainee surgeon who had a pash for bread, a couple of professional chefs, a retired drama teacher and a 22-year-old who made You Tube videos. The latter, Callum, was a cheeky chappie, bounding up to the judges like a Labrador late for its lunch. “Hello! Brought my dad with me,” he said, referring to Oliver. How we laughed. “Little b******” said Oliver. It was like Scooby Doo meeting Scrappy for the first time.
Everything was yummy and chummy, the judging panel of three had a requisite no nonsense type in charge (Louise Moore, the MD of Penguin Michael Joseph, who has to sell the winning book), and the food looked easy enough to prepare. Trouble was, the two winning contestants were so easy to spot from the off. The rest were like untouched side dishes, there to make the table seem loaded and fill out the hour.
The Responder (BBC1, Monday-Thursday) was terrific to the end, easily outclassing the increasingly daft Trigger Point (Vicky McClure making another rookie error. Really?). Martin Freeman’s Scouse copper emerged as we all hoped he would, as a hero for these strange times. There’s talk of a second series. Defo that, as they say in the ‘pool.
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