ALFIE Best knows a lot about running holiday homes. That’s why he has the nickname “the caravan king” and millions in the bank.
He did not, alas, know one very important thing: never argue with an elderly Scots couple whose drains are overflowing for the umpteenth time.
Blocked drains – fat and wet wipes, since you didn’t ask, and not the Scots pair’s fault – were just one of the problems to be sorted in Undercover Big Boss (STV, Thursday). This show, in which a head honcho dons a disguise and poses as a worker for a week, was not to be confused with plain old Undercover Boss, in which a head honcho dons a disguise and poses as a worker for a week.
The similarities did not end there. Best was recently in a documentary, presented by Kathy Burke, about the divide between Britain’s rich and poor. Truly, television really does eat itself sometimes.
Still, the three workers chosen to show the new guy the ropes appeared not to have seen the Burke programme, or Undercover Boss. They treated “William Finney” very nicely, and never complained once. Well, you wouldn’t, would you, if the cameras were filming? Nor did anyone have much truck with specifics, like how much they earned. Julio the handyman said the last pay rise he could remember was a 50 pence hike, so we were obviously not talking City pay rates.
Julio had to deal with anything that came his way, including blocked drains. Handily enough, it turned out that “William” knew a thing or two about drains (he used to own a company) and proceeded to engage on the subject with the irate Scots couple, who just wanted the thing fixed. If Julio rumbled the undercover boss you could not tell. Same with the sales manager and the woman who ran a shop/bar on one of the sites.
Then came the big reveal and goodies were handed out, including a holiday for the hard working sales manager, and a 5k bonus and another pay rise for Julio (better than 50 pence any day). Best, meanwhile, walked away with some invaluable lessons about the running of his business. That, plus an hour of free publicity at primetime. Still, I was glad Julio got his pay rise. As for the complaining Scots, someone give them a series of their own.
It takes a fine actor to play the role of woman on the edge of a nervous breakdown and not veer into mascara-smeared cliche. Fortunately for everyone, the makers of I Am Victoria (Channel 4, Thursday) had chosen Suranne Jones to take the title role.
From Doctor Foster to Save Me, we would watch Suranne Jones in pretty much anything (I would probably draw the line at a guest spot in Mrs Brown’s Boys, but I don’t think that will ever happen). Here she was on blistering, scarily accurate form as a wife, mother and businesswoman slowly cracking up.
Written and directed by Dominic Savage, the drama cleverly avoided linking any one cause to Victoria’s mental distress. Was it the pressure of trying to have it all, a hard knock childhood, a controlling husband? The viewer, like Victoria and her family, was left bewildered, which was rather the point.
Iain Stirling, aka the Scots guy who says funny things about Love Island and makes the whole thing less of a soul-sapping experience that makes you fear for the future of humankind, has written a sitcom. In Buffering (ITV2, Thursday), Stirling plays a lightweight TV presenter who wants a more grown up gig (any resemblance, etc). Recently split from his girlfriend, he’s living in London with four Friends-style flatmates: the kooky one, the sassy one, and so on, and still sleeping with his ex, who also happens to be his boss.
It was nothing we haven’t seen before. There were some sharp lines, albeit they probably seemed funnier written down than spoken, and by the half-series mark (all episodes are available on ITV hub) everyone starts to relax a bit. Not sure about the sudden lurch into more serious territory, though. It’s a tough market out there in sitcom land. Will this one make it? Maybe not give up the day job just yet, Iain.
Fishing Scotland's Lochs and Rivers (Channel 5, Friday) brought together Linford Christie, Rosemary Shrager, Fern Britton and Les Dennis for another celebs go on holiday affair. Fairly tiresome, with a voiceover banging on about taking the high road, majestic scenery, etc, but in a stroke of genius, Shane Lynch was added to the mix. I confess I was with Rosemary S when she roared “Who are you?” on seeing him. Shane had been a member of the boy band Boyzone it turned out, and now he was learning to fish in Scotland with Les Dennis, who was once married to Amanda Holden. Funny old world, as Maggie T used to say.
To the programme’s credit, it operated a catch and release policy. Whether a smitten Fern Britton will do the same with Shane is anyone's guess.
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