Albaliens

POLITICIANS are an odd lot, but a "favourites" playlist on a YouTube account linked to Alba MP Neale Hanvey still managed to raise eyebrows this week. The bookmarked videos included tips on ancient aliens, The Illuminati, shape-shifting lizard spotter David Icke, astral projection and visiting the "angelic realm". Mr Hanvey claims the list itself is also mysterious. "I've no idea where any of that has come from," he tells Unspun. So who was behind the now deleted document? The truth, we suspect, is out there.

Absolute nutjob

IT wasn’t just on YouTube either. Mr Hanvey's Wikipedia page briefly declared him to be the MP for "The Astral Realm". It's actually Cowdenbeath. The hoo-ha forced him to confirm he does not in fact believe in ancient aliens, astral projection, the Illuminati or the wisdom of David Icke. "I think David Icke's an absolute nutjob," he told us, before adding that our questions were "really ridiculous". That’s what we’re here for, folks.

Vintage cheek

GOOD manners have never been high on Unspun’s list of priorities, but we hear some well-meaning mugs still go in for them. It is not always a wise course. Carol Monaghan, the SNP MP for Glasgow North West, gave up her London flat at the start of the pandemic. As a kind gesture, she left a bottle of wine to welcome the new tenants. The letting agent has contacted her to say the wine was dirty and charged her to clean it. A lesson for us all.

Forbes off

THE CBI held an online hustings on the economy on Thursday. SNP Finance Secretary Kate Forbes she said she feared some sectors had been irrevocably damaged by the pandemic. At least that's what we think she meant. Her actual line was that some sectors had “changed irreckev, em, em, oooreckeverk, I’m not going to say that word”. Still, she got ‘CBI’ right.

Manifestly awful

SCOTTISH Labour’s manifesto launch was glitchy do, starting with a missing manifesto and ending in a stop-start Q&A on Zoom, with Anas Sarwar turning off his camera to save WiFi. “Have you got four bars?” he was heard muttering. He wasn’t the only one with problems. One hack, dubbed The Whisperer for his lousy microphone, had to resort to a football commentator-style headset. “I look a pillock in this,” he sighed. It was one of the few points of agreement in the election.

Pages envy

MR Sarwar also took an unhealthy interest in Nicola Sturgeon’s interior decor. A voracious fiction reader, the FM invariably appears online backed by groaning bookcases. Mr Sarwar, a plain red wall kinda guy, was incensed. “Nicola Sturgeon might be able to get lots of books on her bookshelf, there’s lots of kids who need books in her constituency in Glasgow Southside," he frothed. "They should get the libraries back open - and not so someone can take selfies with the books and try and look how cultured they are." Jealous much?

Let it go!

WILL Willie Rennie ever give up? The indefatigable LibDem leader tells Unspun he has no plans to quit after a decade in the job, despite poor Alex Cole-Hamilton waiting and grimacing in the wings. “I just think of Joe Biden,” he says, the US President being a mere 25 years his senior. But don’t get others get a shot? Doesn’t Alex get his moment? “No! I’m greedy! It’s all mine!” he laughs. Or perhaps it was a sinister cackle? You can never tell on Zoom...