Scotland's Home of the Year, series three, episode 2

WEEK two of the competition to find Scotland’s nicest abode and “they” have arrived on the scene.

“They” are the enemy of pristine white walls. “They”, and their pals, like nothing better than to clutter up the place disturbing karate-chopped cushions and perfectly placed throws. “They” care nothing about showroom tidy kitchens.

“They”, you’ve guessed it, are weans.

Last week’s show, set in the Borders, was a child-free zone. On this trip to the Hebrides there were three small people. Hardly a mob, but this is how ant invasions start.

First stop for judges Anna Campbell Jones, Michael Angus, and Kate Spiers, was a renovated croft house on Skye. Bealach Bothy in Staffin was home to Jo, Allan, and their two children, Lexi and Lachlan.

The house had been vacant for 15 years before Jo and Allan bought it, and it was missing a roof and couple of outside walls. A real fixer-upper if ever you saw one.

“We enjoy this house,” said Allan. “We don’t feel it’s too big, we don’t feel it’s too small.” Would the judges agree on the property’s Goldilocks qualities?

READ MORE: A worthy winner in the Borders?

From the outside the house was traditional croft. Inside was another world. “It’s really, really glamorous in here,” said interior designer Anna, checking out the tropical plants and animal prints. The style worked because it was in such contrast to the outdoors setting.

Michael thought the room had a lovely “tone”. “It’s dark but I’m not feeling as if we are sitting in a cave or anything.” Memo to self: house that looks like cave not good.

As in one of the Borders homes, Bealach Bothy had a chair hanging from the ceiling. Was there a fire sale in hanging bubble chairs that I did not know about? This time it was Anna who was in it like a flash. “Ooh, it’s a little bit bouncy.” The ceiling held. This house has triumphed over decades of dereliction and ferocious island weather; it can cope with an excitable interior designer no bother.

On to one of the bedrooms and a leopard print cushion earned a thumbs up from Anna. Michael loved the idea that animals and humans were still living together, croft-style. This led to an exchange between the pair that was even weirder than last week’s tussle over whether baths in bedrooms were naff.

“Would you live in a croft with a leopard?” asked Anna.

“Well …” said Michael, signalling some doubt but quickly showing it the door. “Would you rather live with a cow?”

Next was The Old School House in Kensaleyre. Built in 1860, it was home to Rowena, Nigel and his daughter, India. It was another start from scratch renovation that had taken ten years to finish.

With a “fairy door” and a tree house, this was a charmer of a place from the outside. Inside there were exposed stone walls and quirky pieces, including old safes. The stair walls were packed with mirrors of different shapes and sizes, as was one bedroom wall.

“I’m not sure I want to wake up in the morning and look at my face in a convex mirror,” said Anna.

READ MORE: Anna Campbell Jones on why SHOTY is must watch TV

India’s bedroom looked suitably lived in, which made a nice change after so many spotless interiors.

Finally we arrived at Tor Lodge, a new build in Carragrich on the Isle of Harris that was home to Ruth and John. If the programme had been titled Scotland’s View of the Year it would have been game over.

“Just stunning,” said Michael. “You bring the outside not just inside to your room, but into your heart,” he mused.

It was a poignant moment, the architect in black letting loose the poetry in his soul. So of course the women laughed at him. “He’s getting a bit sentimental!” cried Anna.

Time to put scores on doors. In third place was The Old School House, which Anna felt could do with some lightness to lift the masculinity. Second was Tor Lodge. Needed more outdoor seating to take advantage of the views, thought Kate.

In first place, Bealach Bothy, scoring perfect tens from Kate and Anna and a nine from Michael. “An explosion of fabulousness” said Anna. Most houses with children just look like an explosion has happened.

So there you have it, the hoose wi weans won it, showing there is a happy half way point between dream homes and reality. Or at least there is when the cameras are coming round.

Next week: Aberdeenshire and St Andrews