Such was the good news on lockdown easing delivered earlier in the day by Nicola Sturgeon, one half expected her to be carried into the STV debate on the shoulders of a grateful public.
Hurrah for Nicola, saviour of staycations, bringer of booze-ups, defender of our right to buy cheap T-shirts and knickers in Primark!
If Anas Sarwar, a dentist by training, had been half as shameless as Ms Sturgeon in courting votes he would have come wearing his scrubs.
Presenter Colin Mackay said the Glasgow location was “covid secure”. It looked like one of those joints where acid raves were once held.
The five were as raring to go as lockdown pups at their first training class. Make that lockdown pups that had been to the groomers for their post-lockdown haircut. Not to be left out, someone had given Patrick Harvie’s head a rub with the Mr Sheen.
It was Scottish politics as usual, with a gaggle of men and one woman. Mr Harvie could have given his podium to co-leader Lorna Slater, but the nation’s second most famous waistcoat wearer after Line of Duty’s DS Steve Arnott had clearly been missing the limelight. It had, after all, been more than 24 hours before his “tribute” to the late Prince Philip had made headlines.
It took 15 minutes for the event to descend into a shouting match, which was impressive given previous debates Mr Sarwar appointed himself peacemaker, throughout, with Mr Harvie as his deputy. The two were to find themselves in agreement on a number of fronts. Interesting.
We moved to the USP of the STV debates: the cross-examination round. This would separate those who had watched Crown Court/The Good Fight from those who had not. Who was ready for the truth? Could we even handle the truth?
“I don’t want to intervene but I will do if I have to,” warned Mr Mackay, sounding like his Porridge namesake.
First in the dock was Mr Harvie, who accused Douglas Ross of wanting to “tax the cuts”, a fox’s paw that the Tory leader enjoyed. Everyone else was happy to play nice with Mr Harvie.
Next not to take the oath was Oor Willie, half man, half cartoon strip character. He was earnest with Mr Sarwar on education. Ms Sturgeon cornered him into saying he would have to look to the UK Government to achieve a universal basic income.
Mr Ross tackled the SNP leader on drug deaths. We took our eye off the ball, she admitted. A wider attack on everything from the last time her old school in Ayrshire had been inspected, to her record on meeting waiting time targets, failed to make an impact.
Mr Sarwar launched a more in sorrow than in anger attack on Ms Sturgeon over the NHS, while Willie Rennie took her to task on failing to close the attainment gap, but wouldn’t wait for an answer (“Nicola! Nicola! Nicola!”).
Last to be cross-examined was Douglas Ross. Ms Sturgeon invited him to tell the UK government to “butt out” of Scottish law making. Strangely he declined to do so. In general, attacks on him were attacks on Boris Johnson. The Moray MP looked delighted to have the chance to defend the boss.
He was even more thrilled when Patrick Harvie accused him of being divisive, and Anas Sarwar reminded him he had voted against free school meals for children. It was a good old fashioned pile on. While it may have looked ugly it was one of the few times the event came alive.
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