Invisible cities
THE renowned wit Samuel Johnson once claimed that patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel, which may be true when it comes to a person’s relationship with the nation state.
But patriotism towards a city? Surely that is a fine and noble thing, says Glasgow resident Deedee Cuddihy, who is threatening to delete her eBay account due to a message it sent to her explaining that her “approximate location” was Edinburgh, United Kingdom.
“I’m in Glasgow, eBay,” growls Deedee. “Have you never heard of it?”
Mind the gap
THE English Dictionary is an excellent book, though we wouldn’t advise reading it cover-to-cover in one sitting. (If you’re looking for edge-of-your-seat entertainment, best stick with the Herald Diary.)
Even though the dictionary is a profound work of scholarship, we’ve noticed that many essential words don’t appear in it.
Which is why we occasionally feel it is our solemn duty, as one of the gatekeepers of knowledge in the UK, to demand new words be included.
With this in mind, Gordon Casely suggests Sarchasm (noun): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
Court in the act
SOLICITOR Matthew Berlow, who tinkles the ivories in his spare time, believes he may be the only lawyer to have played piano in court.
“Helensburgh Justice of the Peace Court used to be held in an old church hall,” he explains. “And the piano was still there. So I started to play and was concentrating so hard I didn’t realise court had started.”
Matthew was representing Faslane protestors at the time, who threatened to bring their guitars to any further court appearance for a stirring collaboration with their lawyer of Give Peace a Chance.
Caveman cacophony
HAVING received his vaccination in Haddington last week, reader Mike Wilson wonders how his favourite cartoon character would have responded after getting his injection.
He concludes that Fred Flintstone would rush round Bedrock City shouting: “Jabbadabbadoo.”
Oriental wisdom
OUR readers continue updating the wise sayings of the learned Chinese sage, Confucius. Norrie Johnstone suggests: Man who eats many prunes gets good run for money.
You’re chucked
WE’RE recalling the late country crooner Sydney Devine, a rare Scottish talent who never took himself too seriously. David Graham from Carnwath recalls that on the popular STV music show Thingummyjig, presenter Jack McLaughlin would introduce Sydney as: “The Cleland Cowboy who has been thrown off more stages than John Wayne.”
Conversing cash
“I KNOW people claim money talks,” says reader Bob Murphy. “But all mine ever says is ta-ta.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel