MY job in Sydney was so unutterably dull that on a Friday, as a treat for surviving another monotonous week, my two chums and I would buy a three dollar box of Chinese food from the Central Plaza food court and take it on the Monorail.
Gloriously pointless, for 25 years the Sydney Monorail looped a perpetual 3km circle passed Darling Harbour, Chinatown and the Sydney central business district. It was madly expensive and more novelty than serious transport option, but for three young women with tedious office jobs it was 60 dizzying minutes of delight.
Round and round we'd go, slurping noodles and watching the water twinkle and the city bustle below.
It was dismantled in 2013, a futuristic failure, a glimpse of modern travel made history.
The Simpsons TV show made monorails a cultural totem of foolhardiness. Sydney's Monorail didn't do much to challenge that image.
But then, it was a blip on an otherwise solid reputation for integrated, thorough and affordable public transit. When you've become used to taking a journey that encompasses ferry, rail and bus, all with barely a few steps between stops and all using a single tap on/tap off travel card, it's tough to find anything kind to say about Glasgow - and Scotland's - transport network.
How does it fail us? It's not difficult to count the ways.
Here, too, we have ferries, buses and trains. We also have the Subway network. With an SPT Zonecard, commuting by multiple transport types is no problem.
One of the main complaints of the transport system, however, is that for occasional commuters, there's no integrated ticket. Journeys aren't joined up. You can't step off a train and be guaranteed a linking bus at the same or pay for it with one fare.
There are so many obvious cold spots, communities where a lack of decent public transport cuts people off. I was speaking to a taxi driver about this recently who said his main business is in areas like Castlemilk, where there isn't a train station within a mile and the bus service has gaps.
Times are extremely tough for cabbies and I'm loath to say anything that might make things harder, but it's surely one of the great signs of inequality that those in affluent areas who are more likely to own cars, are well served by public transport and supermarkets while those in deprived communities are paying top whack for taxis to take them to Asda.
When I was at uni I used my SPT Zonecard to take a bus to the train station, a train to the city centre and the underground to Glasgow's west end. I don't know what I'd do if I was a young person with a city centre commute now because First Glasgow cut the bus route last year, creating another transport desert.
These issues aren't new. Looking at the lack of Castlemilk's train service, I found a document from June 2009, SPT's West of Scotland Conurbation Public Transport Study. It proposed spurs from existing rail lines to fill in gaps in the network, such as out to Castlemilk. Never happened.
The problem is gums are bumped over these known issues but solutions are never addressed.
Glasgow started off ahead of its game. The city is home to the third underground railway in the world - ahead of its time there. It had the largest electric tramway network in Europe.
And from its sprint out the traps, the gradient's been against her and the city's transport network has suffered a very long, slow decline.
So it was glad news indeed that Scottish ministers have given priority status to a citywide metro system for Glasgow, running in to the surrounding areas of East Dunbartonshire, Lanarkshire and Renfrewshire.
We're told the plans are at early stages – and public feedback is welcome until April so do respond – but light rail, traditional rail, trams and bus-only roads are likely to be included.
After the Edinburgh tram scandal, it's no wonder if people in Glasgow balk at the word but bus services don't tend to encourage people out of their cars. There's still a lingering snobbery about bus use. But trams do encourage people to leave their vehicles. They are a quick, clean and easy option - and no emissions.
No mention of the oft-raised idea that the Glasgow subway might be extended. Certainly no mention of a novelty monorail to entertain square eyed city centre workers. But, besides these flaws, a metro system is absolutely the right way forward for a city with so much potential stymied by lack of decent transport.
Transport is not only about getting from A to B, it's about improving health, wellbeing and livelihoods. It's access to widened job opportunities, educational opportunities, leisure, and social interactions.
With the city hosting COP26 at the end of this year, it's also about the environment and promoting active travel. Susan Aitken, the leader of Glasgow City Council, acknowledged these issues, and so does, of course, Transport Scotland.
Decent transport is an absolute fundamental for communities to thrive. Looking at the comments on the story and on social media, however, the response is one of resigned disbelief.
No wonder. None of this is new. Plans for a metro system, to extend the underground, to build tram networks, to re-nationalise bus services - all come around as frequently as the hey day of Sydney Monorail.
Wait for a bit and you'll hear ambitious ideas for the central belt transport network more often than some areas see a bus.
Politicians know their constituents are being underserved - or not served at all - by affordable, quality, linked up transport. They know that this dereliction damages communities, harms the environment and reduces productivity yet nothing is done.
The campaign for a Glasgow metro system is long running, the ideas being suggested a reworking of oft suggested ideas.
The Scottish Government's mass transport blueprint is a real opportunity to improve lives. People in Glasgow will be wondering if it is yet more pie in the sky promises that never come to pass.
It's time to finally implement these suggestions. A train is coming and if the response is not a hearty "All aboard" then we'll all be stranded.
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