Fit for purpose?

CHARLES Darwin argued that every species evolves through a process of natural selection, with the fittest specimens surviving.

The Diary hesitates before criticising the great man’s theory, yet criticise it we must.

For reader Gavin McMahon has uncovered evidence that lesser specimens are still amongst us, and perhaps even thriving.

Strolling down Argyle Street, he spotted two young gents in their twenties attempting to cross the road. Unfortunately their way was blocked by a row of traffic cones.

One of the chaps pranced, gazelle like, over the cones.

The other took a much longer route, trudging round them.

“I would do Ninja moves too,” shrugged this bloke. “But, y’know, effort.”

Radio makes waves

CLYDE 1 DJ Garry Spence is an upbeat fella, whose perkiness is the result of the motivational speeches he receives from his son, Charlie. This week the honest little chap told pops: “Daddy, the radio was on at nursery yesterday, and you were speaking on the radio, and then we switched the radio off because we didn’t like it.”

Watch the birdy

THIS week it was revealed that only 18 percent of its possible audience tunes in to the new BBC Scotland channel.

Reader Fred Johnson says. “I wouldn’t say the figures are bad. Though I’ve heard that bird spotters looking for the ultimate challenge are focusing their binoculars in living room windows, in an attempt to observe the lesser-spotted BBC Scotland viewer in its natural habitat.”

Weather warning

FORMER punk rocker John Lydon has claimed he never intended to shock the nation when he fronted 1970s band the Sex Pistols.

“John must have made an unfortunate slip of the tongue while recording the group’s first single,” concludes Calum Lloyd from Clarkston. “Clearly the gentle soul was merely advising people to wrap up warm. What he meant to sing was Anoraks in the UK.”

Dictionary corner ctd.

WE’RE collecting words for our updated version of the dictionary. Ian Noble from Carstairs Village suggests: Fuxed, adj. Something that previously worked, though not perfectly, but after an attempt is made to improve its performance, it doesn’t work at all.

Russian reprieve

HEARING that editors advised novelist Christopher Brookmyre to tone down his material, we’ve been imagining how such a request would have affected authors from the past. Reader Christine Brooks suggests Fyodor Dostoevsky might have written: Crime and Community Service.

TV or not TV?

MALCOLM Boyd from Milngavie was about to switch on the telly, just before 6pm, to watch the BBC news. “Then I realised it would be Pointless,” he says.