IT was Prime Minister’s Questions but not as we know it.
The nation was offered an array of flaring nostrils, floral wallpaper, carefully arranged bookshelves and chintzy curtains as MPs called in from the comfort of their bedrooms, lounges and kitchens; some, no doubt, below the camera line were still wearing their shorts, leggings and pyjama bottoms.
The normally crammed Commons bear-pit, full of noise, energy and anger, was more like a sunny Sunday afternoon in the park with MPs leisurely sprawling on sparsely populated, silent leather benches. All that was missing was birdsong and a picnic hamper.
Question-time began pleasantly enough with Dominic Raab, the First Secretary, praising the heroes of the NHS and the Speaker wishing the conspicuously absent Boris a full and speedy recovery.
READ MORE: Keir Starmer accuses UK Govt of being 'slow' in its response to pandemic
Keir Starmer, with his hair slicked back, began his debut at the PMQs dispatch box, stressing how he wanted to lead a constructive opposition but then began slowly to deconstruct the Government’s response to the coronavirus outbreak.
“There is a pattern emerging here,” declared the new chief comrade. “We were slow into lockdown, slow on testing, slow on protective equipment and now slow to take up these offers from British firms."
Raab, who was doing a fine impersonation of a talking wardrobe, suddenly gave the Labour knight his death stare, taken aback by the return to the political sniping of old.
Stressing how the Government had moved every step of the way in line with the boffins’ advice, the First Secretary snipped: “If he thinks he knows better than they do, with the benefit of hindsight, then that's his decision". So there.
First up for a virtual question was Conservative grandee David Mundell. Or not. The Speaker stood up to inform MPs: “Unable to connect.” Not for the first time, one or two opponents doubtless thought.
The SNP’s champion Ian Blackford had better luck and implored the talking wardrobe that, come on, now was the time for a universal basic income so that “no one is left behind”.
READ MORE: Coronavirus in Scotland: Hospital death toll breaches 1,000 as 1,800 discharged
The more eagle-eyed viewer might have spied in the background of the Highlander’s mansion among the footballs a card, bearing what looked remarkably like a Hibernian 3 Rangers 2 scoreline. Surely not.
The First Sec peering upwards at the two giant screens hovering ominously overhead reverted to first principles and stressed the “UKwide effort” to ensure as “one United Kingdom we defeat the coronavirus”.
High Tory Peter Bone had a dig at the banks but appeared to be continuing his attack after he had been muted on screen; much to the merriment of MPs.
Arguably the most interesting question came from the Plaid Cymru leaderene Liz Savile Roberts, who, pointing out how the pandemic had been tackled on a four-nation approach, asked if this meant that when it came to lifting the restrictions, this should be done on a basis of unanimity. In other words, would Wales of Scotland have a veto.
The stand-in PM looked up, looked down and decided not to answer the question. He again stressed the co-operation of the four nations and hoped the cross-country collaboration would continue in the “second phase”.
It was a blatant dodge. When it comes to PMQs, some things, virtually or otherwise, don’t change.
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