THE Through the Keyhole Pandemic Special has certainly given rise to some entertaining sights.
Sam Smith, the pop singer, posted some downcast photos of themself to Instagram, complaining that they were having a hard time in lockdown. It was a delight, then, to see them performing on Sunday night in the One World: Together At Home concert from a living room that would comfortably accommodate my entire flat.
Let me just interject here to say that you may feel affronted at having Sam Smith's job title explained to you. However, I did see the BBC last week describe Sir Paul McCartney as "Paul McCartney from the Beatles" so, frankly, who knows who's who these days.
Ellen Degeneres, in front of a picture window framing what looks like a an expanse of parkland, compared self-quarantine in her multimillion-dollar mansion to “being in jail”. That's the same Ellen who's the highest paid comedian in the world but whose crew from her talk show have complained about confusion over their pay and hours during lockdown.
David and Victoria Beckham (footballer/singer-cum-fashion designer), also taking part in the One World concert - organised by Lady Gaga (singer) but described as being not a fundraiser but a morale booster and thank you to front line emergency service workers - gave us a heartfelt speech in gratitude to health staff.
That's the Posh N' Becks who have furloughed 30 staff members from Victoria's fashion business at the expense of the public purse despite being worth a combined £335 million. There is no justification for that action. It is sheer greed and sheer hypocrisy.
One of the positives of this global crisis has been the response. The mucking-in from all quarters. From gin companies making hand sanitiser to local amateur sewers making scrub bags and masks to secondary schools creating visors on their 3D printers.
Local Facebook groups have sprung up to put community members in touch who can help each other out with shopping or medicines or lifts to the GP. Global craft projects have brightened up windows with rainbow posters and teddy bear hunts.
It has been wholesome, good grassroots work that has highlighted the positivity and creativity of communities. While much of it should be unnecessary for a properly funded NHS and welfare state, it's still soul soothing to see how people will activate and innovate in a crisis.
But then there have been the celebrities. As detailed above, there have been those whose clangers are nigh-on unforgivable.
Then there are those who have just wanted to use their talents to entertain the nation. Lads, we are entertained. You may stand down.
I can think of three exceptions. Sophie Ellis-Bextor dancing round her kitchen under a disco ball is nice - it's funny, she doesn't take herself seriously and her little son's behaviour encapsulates the mood of the nation. He tries very hard to show some enthusiasm before going for a defeated lie down. Yet he rises and carries on.
One World: Together At Home was eight hours long with only two highlights. Firstly, Charlie Watts of the Rolling Stones air drumming in front of his LP collection pretending to play the entire three minutes of You Can't Always Get What You Want.
While other celebrities are busy showcasing their luxurious mansions, Charlie couldn't even muster a set of drums.
Finally, Elton John gave the globe an unexpected giggle as he bashed out I'm Still Standing, Les Dawson-style on a grand piano that has somehow wound up in his driveway. We can only hope that whoever moves it back indoors maintains correct social distancing.
At the end of the eight hour play-a-thon, One World: Together At Home raised around £102m. Elton John's worth about $500m. Lady Gaga's is $275m. Celine Dion boasts $800m while the Rolling Stones sit on $900m. Let's not sniff at £102m but it's a drop in the ocean compared to the cash its celebrity performers have access to.
At the other end of the scale, 99-year-old pensioner Captain Tom Moore's fundraiser has hurtled past £27m and is still rising. Captain Moore's ambition, to walk 100 laps of his garden before his 100th birthday, has completely captured the public mood in a way no rich, gently patronising celebrity in a multi-million pound mansion currently can.
The inequalities of rich and poor have been laid painfully and starkly bare. Gal Gadot (actress) was the first whose attempt at home entertainment for the masses went horribly wrong. Her oddly smug rendition of Imagine by John Lennon of the Beatles, with celebrity pals, earned her pelters because of her assertion that "we're all in this together".
Some, though, are more in it than others. And famous people pretending to be generous from inside their mansions does nothing but highlight this injustice.
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