THINGS have come to a pretty pass when a maker of traditional tea bags finds itself thrust into the front line against mad woke culture.

That’s what happened when the makers of Yorkshire Tea – motto, “Let’s have a proper brew” – got into a proper brouhaha after Tory Chancellor Rishi Sunak posted a tweet and accompanying pic of himself making “a good Yorkshire brew” for his Budget team colleagues.

Although the tweet was just a harmless quickie, and nothing to do with the company, the usual top intellectuals on Twitter called for the teabags to be “cancelled” and for the company to be boycotted. It was utterly nuts. But the best thing about it was how calmly and rationally Yorkshire Tea reacted on Twitter.

I don’t do Twitter because it’s full of fatheads. And it’s an absolute minefield for offence, uber-sensitivity, inflated self-importance and saying the wrong thing. Hey, it sounds just like a newspaper column!

A lot of PR folk, notably those on woke extremist police forces up and down the country, are making a right bags of things on Twitter, with people stealing the wheels off their patrol cars as they sit in the office tweeting about how “progressive” they are.

But Yorkshire Tea got it right. After initially being stunned at the accusations of guilt by vanishingly distant association, they tried to explain that Mr Sunak’s tweet was nothing to do with them and that they would never “intentionally stick ourselves in a Twitter storm”, particularly late in the day when it was “nearly hometime”.

They also pointed out that Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn had posed similarly with their teabags in 2017. To no avail.

The increasingly deranged cyber-bullies still piled on, screaming “shame on you” and calling for the company to be destroyed.

Baffled, the tea jennies tried to understand what was happening, and tweeted: “We’ve spent the last three days answering furious accusations and boycott calls. For some, our tea just being drunk by someone they don’t like means it’s forever tainted …”

And: “It’s been pretty shocking to see the determination some have had to drag us into a political mud-fight. But it’s been lovely to see others speak up for us …”

That is indeed what happened, and it’s the beauty of Twitter that decent ratepayers can also have their say and fight back against the bullies.

Even when one of the latter still went shrilly on, the company advised: “Sue, you’re shouting at tea. Please do look after yourself and try to be kind to others.”

Of course, you can’t talk any sense into such folk. The golden rule when dealing with the woke is: Never apologise, never explain. It’s never enough.

The aforementioned Sue went on shrieking, until Yorkshire Tea pleaded: “From one human being to another, would [it] be OK for you to stop now?” And, in so doing, it won the sympathy of everyone with an ounce of common sense.

But you do wonder about what is going on inside the heads of the Sues and suchlike, whose purpose in life seems to be to persecute.

There must be a shred of decency in there somewhere and, like the Spanish Inquisition, Stalin’s Cheka and the witch-burners of old, they must have convinced themselves that they have right on their side.

But their perspective has become skewed. In the guise of liberalism they are bringing, as Orwell predicted, totalitarianism. However, it was always a weakness in Orwell’s writings that he could never foresee the crucial role that teabags would play in the fight for liberty.

Right, time to put the kettle on.

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I GET severely discombobulated when I read about top civil servants, Treasury advisers and even Tory MPs saying they listen to hard rock. It’s not natural.

Hard rock is for people with long hair and tight trousers, like me back in the days when I was full of hope. True, my hair is shorter and my trousers baggier now, but I’m still a free spirit fighting the Man. These other people: they are the Man.

The latest Establishment figure revealed to love rock is David Frost, 55, Boris Johnson’s Europe adviser. Previously, he spent 20 years in the Foreign & Commonwealth Office. In 2006, he was made a Companion of the Order of St Michael and St George. He’s pictured in a suit and tie.

And yet he says he’s a fan of Motorhead and Led Zeppelin. It’s disgraceful for a man in such a position. Could you imagine Sir Humphrey Appleby or Sir Harold Macmillan banging their heads rhythmically to Rush?

Call me prejudiced, but I believe record store owners should have told Mr Frost: “I’m sorry, sir, but this isn’t for the likes of you. Try up the road, where they’ve got some Mantovani and Brahms.”

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LIKE many sad outcasts, I was delighted to read about the cast of Friends reuniting for a one-off show. And my happiness could barely be contained when I read they were being paid between $2.25M and $2.50M to appear.

It’s wonderful that artists are rewarded adequately for their hard work. I’m a big fan of the show, even if the characters’ flat arrangements never made realistic sense. At least two of the buddies were well-paid professionals.

It’s the same with that show about top physicists sharing a flat. They get on each other’s wicks, but obviously that’s preferable to buying a place of your own with your fat salary.

Oddly enough, American sitcoms used to present the opposite scenario, with binmen and sales assistants living in huge detached houses: showcasing the American Way.

Still, we could all identify with the nice young people in Friends. The show is still a top pick among young persons on yon Netflix, who envy the characters’ cosy togetherness. The fact that the actors were paid $1M an episode provides an added warm glow.

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DONALD Trump doesn’t eat healthily like Scottish people do. The US president is famously carnivorous, loving well-done steaks, burgers and meatloaf. If undertaking a state visit to Greggs, it’s unlikely he’d try the famous vegan sausage roll.

A White House source told CNN prior to a trip to India this week: “I have never seen him eat a vegetable.”

That made the Indian trip problematic, since his host, Prime Minister Narendra Modi, like most of the country, is ardently vegetarian. Monsieur Modi tried to interest the animal-masticating loon in veggie stuff, hiring a top chef to cook special samosas with, er, broccoli in them. Donald didn’t bite.

His schtick seems to have been to attend the state dinners, eat nothing, then waddle rapidly back to his hotel, where a private chef expertly singed a steak for him.

Earlier this week, the Trumpling’s former physician revealed how he used to smuggle cauliflower into the president’s mashed potato. Nae luck. Still, there is hope. Most people naturally dislike vegetables when children but soon grow out of it. And Mr Trump is still only 73.

Read more: Politicians showing an assertive personality? Well, bully for them