A bridge too far?
MESSAGING the Diary all the way from Hong Kong, Rob Shorthouse wants to know if the proposed new bridge linking Scotland and Northern Ireland has been given a name yet. “If not, may I start the ball rolling with the Ulster Fryover?” says our man, who adds that he is willing to jet home for the naming ceremony.
So is Rob’s bridge name a perfect fit? Or is he talking Hong Kong Phooey? No doubt there are many readers out there with rival ideas…
A blowhard
AND while we’re playing name games… The Diary has also been working on suitably majestic monikers for the tempest that has been rampaging through Scotland this week. (At this rate we’ll have to call ourselves the Dictionary instead of the Diary.) Russell Smith from Kilbirnie points out that the storm is certainly a “force of nature” and it’s “unpredictable, prone to blowing hot and cold, and potentially disastrous”.
Meaning that Russell’s chosen name for the wet and wild wind walloping our poor benighted nation is rather obvious, really.
It’s Storm Boris, of course.
Facing bad weather
WE should probably point out that Storm Boris is also pulverising those parts of the UK the Diary calls Not-Scotland. (Colleagues who come from the Not-Scotland part of the country inform us that those locations are sometimes called England, Wales and Northern Ireland.)
Those far off places are also suffering from extreme weather conditions, as is noted by ABC foreign correspondent Julia Macfarlane, who finds herself in London, though her roots are in Not Not-Scotland. (Or Scotland, as it’s sometimes known.)
“I’m not usually one for conspiracy theories,” says our gal down South. “But no matter what direction I’m walking in, the wind and rain are always smacking me directly in the face.”
Pie puzzle
SHAKESPEARE may have been a moderately talented fella. But in all his years scribbling plays, he never once produced a classic tragedy or comedy based around a kitchen appliance. Which is why the Diary dubs itself far more brill’ than Will, because we’ve been running such tales for a while now. Today we even offer up a genuine puzzler from reader Archie Wohlgemuth, who says: “One of the great culinary conundrums of our time surely must be: is it possible to cook a Killie pie in an Ayr fryer?”
Here puns the sun
PUN peddling Drumchapel comedian Iain MacDonald explains that he spent all of last night wondering whether he should stay awake until the sun came up. “Then it dawned on me,” he adds.
Pathfinder
DECIDING on a winter break, reader Arnold Rose has found himself enjoying the pleasures of Rome for the last two weeks. “I’m trying to leave now,” he says. “Unfortunately it’s proving tricky. All the roads have this weird design flaw…”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel