Working it out
MORE on retirement, as a Glasgow reader phones to tell us: "Was in the pub the other night when a drinker was talking about the Government thinking about putting the retirement age up. His pal told him: 'That's unfair of them expecting you to try and avoid work till you're 75.'"
Flight of fancy
STEPHEN Henson tells us about a family friend who is an air stewardess arriving back at Glasgow from a flight very late at night. Driving home to Ayrshire in the wee small hours she missed a bend on a country road and ended up in a muddy field in the pitch black, unharmed but shaken. Says Stephen: "She made her way back to the road to flag down assistance. You can imagine the horrifying look on the face of a local farmer she stopped who suddenly saw in his headlights a bedraggled, muddy air hostess in full uniform staggering out of a field. He flew out of the car in a blind panic shouting 'Where’s the plane crashed? Where’s the plane crashed?'"
Kennel club
WE asked about typing mistakes and Douglas Hutchison in Kilcreggan tells us: "I’m increasingly embarrassed when, late at night and going to be late home, I try to sign off texts and emails to my wife with 'Love Douglas'. Apple decides that 'Love Doghouse' is more appropriate. And Mrs H agrees."
Non-mover
BRITAIN'S biggest funeral company, Co-op Funeralcare, has released its 2019 Funeral Music Chart, which sees Frank Sinatra’s My Way the most requested song to be played at funerals. What draws our interest is that the Co-op also gives the top 10 of other musical genres including rock music, which appears to attract a peculiar set of people. The most requested rock number is, fair enough, Led Zep's Stairway to Heaven, but also in the rock top ten is Bat Out of Hell, AC/DC's Highway to Hell and the splendid Queen anthem Another One Bites the Dust.
Trumped
THE Herald reported on TV presenter Piers Morgan's boorish hectoring of First Minister Nicola Sturgeon on breakfast telly the other day. It reminds us of when Morgan, a great supporter of President Donald Trump, declared on social media during the American election campaign: "Watching Hillary live on TV from Detroit. So smug, patronising and charmless."
Tony Cowards couldn't help replying: "Yes but what about her?"
Take a break
GROWING old, continued. Who can agree with Felicity who declares: "I fell sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running to the bathroom/fridge/bedroom in a single ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming 'It's on!' to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time."
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