Hello and welcome to the Great British Stitch-Up

READ MORE: Johnson makes independence 'inevitable'

Yet make no mistake. Among the notions that turned up their toes yesterday was the idea that the UK has a functioning democracy fit for the 21st century. What a very British, rather pathetic, coup, it was. In a variation of an old Amber Rudd (pre-Tory leadership election) warning, former Newsnight anchor Jeremy Paxman wrote in the Radio Times this week that in Boris Johnson the country had been placed in the care of a man you would not trust alone with your sister. Turns out he is not above making a grubby pass at democracy, either.

Downing Street knew the balloon would go up. Given the number of MPs giving Skype interviews from home, some opponents were caught on the hop. It has been the story of Brexit. Nothing appears to happen for ages, you jump into the shower, and in a Bobby Ewing moment everything changes. Except it is not that way at all. This train wreck has happened in full view, in slo-mo, with predictable results, for those who have taken care to watch.

It was known, for example, that the Government had sought advice from the Attorney General on the legality of suspending parliament. The thumbs up was given. Yesterday confirmed this. Between then and yesterday, largely because he has done his best to stay away from questioners, and parliament has been in recess, Mr Johnson has been able to hold to the weaselly line that while he was not attracted to the idea of suspending parliament he would not rule it out.

READ MORE: How Scottish leaders reacted

Even yesterday, shortly after pulling a move that provoked widespread outrage, he was to be found on the BBC trying to pretend everything was business as usual, burbling on about the “very exciting agenda” to be unveiled in the Queen’s Speech on October 14. This is what accountability has come to. As Professor Meg Russell, director of the constitution unit at UCL, has pointed out, Prime Minister Johnson has been subjected to parliamentary scrutiny for just one day. He took over from Theresa May on July 24 and parliament went into recess on the 25th.

Here is a PM with a majority of one, elected by fewer than 100,000 Tory Party members, now preparing to lock the doors of parliament to force a no deal Brexit through. That paint-stripping MacTaggart lecture by Dorothy Byrne, Channel 4 head of news, accusing Mr Johnson of having a media strategy akin to Vladimir Putin’s, now seems even more on the money.

Indeed, looking back now, there had been a slight but telling warning of what was to come when Boris Johnson cancelled an interview with Channel 4 News at the G7 summit in Biarritz. This was despite the broadcaster being assured it was okay to send a crew out, the interview would go ahead. At the last minute, Downing Street pulled the plug. Small beer in the scheme of things, certainly, but it was a childish, spiteful move, the kind of wizard wheeze that would cause blushes among the most wet behind the ears dabbler in student politics. As such, it was typical of the Johnson style.

READ MORE: Queen dragged into constitutional row

On Sunday, as yesterday, Mr Johnson had a calculation to make. Yes, it was bad form to cancel the interview. But would anyone care outside the usual suspects? In any event, could they get away with it? From lies on buses to suspending parliament, the bully weighs the odds of being stopped and steams in, fists flying, depending on his opponents’ shock to win half the battle. What was it that Mike Tyson, rapidly becoming the political sage for the age, said? “Everybody has plans, until they get hit.”

The same strategy is now being deployed against parliament, albeit the stakes are far higher. His attempt at an excuse for suspending parliament, that every government has an autumn prorogation before a Queen’s speech, insults the intelligence. For days, yes, not for an unprecedented five weeks; and in normal times, not when the country is facing the worst political crisis in its peacetime history. Prorogation should happen, moreover, with the consent of parliament, not by going over the head of MPs to the Queen (having a nice holiday, ma'am?).

The plan by opposition leaders on Monday to stop a no deal Brexit by a legislative route looks to have been all but shredded. The clock would seem to be against it.

That being so, a no confidence vote comes into view, and Scotland’s MPs will have a crucial role to play in that. They certainly have questions to answer, and fast. New Liberal Democrat leader Jo Swinson acted hastily in ruling out backing Jeremy Corbyn as the PM of a caretaker government. Will she now stick to that come what may? And what of the Scottish Conservative MPs now?  How will they be directed to vote?

The best case scenario, as far as Downing Street is concerned, is that the EU blinks and Mr Johnson secures a deal that can go through via a measure in the Queen’s Speech. Another wizard wheeze, another fantasy. Or there could be a General Election, a rerun of the February 1974 poll, with parliament taking the place of the trades unions in a who governs Britain run off (the Tories lost that one).

READ MORE: Everything you need to know about prorogation

In one sense Mr Johnson has done MPs a favour. He is forcing them to stand up and be counted, to choose a side they want to be on. If they believe in the basic principle of parliamentary democracy, that government should be accountable to parliament, they will fight his plan for prorogation with everything they have.

The choice between party and country, between democracy and the unthinkable, is clear. Those who doubt what to do should remember the feeling in their gut on hearing that the Government was to ask the Queen to suspend parliament, and all to force a no deal Brexit through. There is right and there is wrong, and any true democrat knows it.