Baby talk

YES, it seems some folk are interested in what Harry and Meghan will call the new royal baby. I see the bookies have included Jack and Victor amongst the names you can bet on, which perhaps suggests a few Still Game fans are having a flutter. Anyway, perhaps the best suggestion so far is Tony Blair's former spin doctor Alastair Campbell who declares: "Be nice if Harry and Meghan could call the baby Brexit. Then we can say we have delivered Brexit, get on with the rest of our lives and get back to being a serious country again."

Raising eyebrows

GROWING old, continued. A Renfrewshire reader tells us: "When I was in my twenties someone described me as 'wild and untamed'. Now I reserve that description for my eyebrows."

Raise a glass

IT was announced that the film Mrs Lowry & Son, about the relationship between artist LS Lowry and his mum, starring Timothy Spall, will be premiered at the Edinburgh International Film Festival. Actor Timothy has played an artist before – in his critically acclaimed role as JMW Turner. We liked the story he told of finding it tough to get into the character of Turner. He recounted: "One weekend early on, I was still struggling to find out what made Turner tick. I couldn’t get out of character. I went into an empty bar in Clerkenwell and said, ‘Are you a purveyor of wine?’ I had to go outside and lean against the wall for a minute. Calm down now, sport! I went back and said back in my normal London accent, ‘Can I have a pinot grigio, please?’”

Doesn't add up

OUR student tales remind Eric Scott in Australia: "When on ‘day release’ (do they still have that?) at Glasgow College of Commerce in the sixties I was required to take Accounting as part of the course. I still recall one vital, but locality-specific, piece of book-keeping knowledge – that the debit side is on the window side. Strange that I never rose to be a chief financial officer armed with that pearl of wisdom."

Cloak and dagger

TALKING of students, good to see the students at the University of West of Scotland campaigning to have the fee you have to pay to graduate being dropped. When you add that on to the cost of a gown hire and official pictures it can cost a right few quid. We recall the reader who swore to us that he attended a graduation ceremony in Glasgow where he witnessed a sobbing grandmother hug her graduating grandson and tell him: "Your parents would have been so proud seeing you up on that stage today."

After giving him another squeeze she added: "It's a shame they couldn't be bothered to come."

You call it

THERE are things many of us do, not realising that we are not alone in doing them. As Dan Regan admits: "When you are using your mobile phone and the person you are speaking to says,'You're breaking up,' so you tell them, 'Hold on'. You then do absolutely nothing and a few seconds later ask, 'How's that?'"

Under pressure

WE mentioned spring is the time of tackling the garden again after months of inactivity. It's also a time when people put their houses on the market. As one female house owner tells us: "My idea of getting the home ready to sell is paint, clean, get rid of clutter, clean some more, get some repairs done. My husband’s idea of getting the home ready to sell is doing anything that involves a power washer."

Coming and going

RAISING children, continued. As DJ Tony Blackburn observes: “You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.”

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