ALISON ROWAT
HERE'S hoping for another vintage year for television drama with heroes, heroines, and villains galore. Who was your favourite character from 2018, and what does that TV crush say about you?
DAVID BUDD, BODYGUARD
Played by: Richard Madden
Bio: The former soldier and PTSD sufferer turned close protection officer is torn between the uncaring state he despises and the woman he loves, Home Secretary Julia Montague (Keeley Hawes).
Madden said of a second series: “What do we do with him next? Because he probably needs a break… but him, on the beach with a pina colada, I don’t think people are going to watch that as much. Less anxiety though, I would like less anxiety.”
Conclusion: You are fond of the strong, relatively silent types who let their actions do the talking. You also appreciate the sight of a naked male bottom, though strictly in an equal opportunity/aesthetic sense.
VILLANELLE, KILLING EVE
Played by: Jodie Comer
Bio: The beautiful Villanelle is a ruthless assassin with a passion for couture. Murderers have rarely been so charming, or as delightfully funny.
Villanelle said: “You should never call a psychopath a psychopath. It upsets them.”
Conclusion: You either adore lovely clothes, or you frequently entertain thoughts of killing people and getting away with it. Welcome to the club.
JOY RICHARDS, WANDERLUST
Played by: Toni Collette
Bio: Married mother Joy, a therapist, is bored with her sex life with husband Alan (Steven Mackintosh). They are both sensible, rational people, so what’s the harm in them taking lovers to spice up their lives?
Joy said: “For once in our lives we can do what we want and see what happens.”
Conclusion: Joy is a free spirit trapped in a humdrum world of work and family. She is also fictional, so don’t even think about it, chum.
LOGAN ROY, SUCCESSION
Played by: Brian Cox
Bio: A Scots-born, New York-based media mogul who has clawed his way to a fortune and doesn’t see why he should hand control of his empire to his greedy, useless children.
He said: To his eldest son, “It’s my company. You are a nobody.”
Conclusion: You still entertain fantasies of winning The Apprentice. Also given to changing your will frequently just to see the look on the faces of your adult children.
J PAUL GETTY SNR, TRUST
Played by: Donald Sutherland
Bio: Real-life billionaire whose initial reaction to the kidnapping of his grandson and heir was to refuse to pay the ransom. Lives with four mistresses and one lioness.
Said of Getty Snr: “They’d do better to kidnap his lion.”
Conclusion: You know the value of a pound and rather fancy replacing Tiddles with a lion, but don’t know if you could handle the litter tray.
JUNE OSBORNE, THE HANDMAID’S TALE
Played by: Elisabeth Moss
Bio: The Republic of Gilead is a man’s world, where women are divided into infertile wives and the breeding machines who have babies for them. June is one of the latter.
June said: “Now I’m awake.”
Conclusion: You are a rebel with a cause, and would like to think that if placed in a similar situation that you too would stage a quiet fightback against “the man”. Favourite song: Sisters are Doing it For Themselves.
PATRICK MELROSE
Played by: Benedict Cumberbatch
Bio: Melrose sprung from Edward St Aubyn’s series of semi-autobiographical novels to become one of the great TV antiheroes of the year. Rich, posh, addicted to drink and drugs, devastatingly witty and often cruel.
Patrick said: On being asked if it was hard not to take drugs, he replied. “Of course. It’s a ******* nightmare being lucid.”
Conclusion: You’d love to possess the wit, the confidence, and the wardrobe, of Melrose, but without the dreadful past of course.
ALEX GODMAN, McMAFIA
Played by: James Norton
Bio: Alex Godman is a good son to his Russian parents. A stockbroker living in London, he looks and sounds every inch the English gent, even if the family wealth comes from some murky places.
He said before his world turned upside down: “I’m very happy with my life.”
Conclusion: Though a mild mannered sort living in suburbia, you could kill someone with your bare hands if the occasion demanded. If they jumped the queue at the post office, for example.
CAMILLE PREAKER, SHARP OBJECTS
Played by: Amy Adams
Bio: When journalist Camille is sent back to her home town to investigate the disappearances of two girls, her unhappy past comes roaring back to greet her.
She said: “I didn’t come back to cause any problems.”
Conclusion: Your childhood heroines were reporters Lois Lane, Hildy Johnson and Velma from Scooby-Doo. You know Camille is a booze-soaked mess, but she is also a bally good journalist with gorgeous hair. Life’s a trade off.
DI JIMMY PEREZ, SHETLAND
Played by: Douglas Henshall
Bio: Perez is a crumpled hero who has empathy to burn after losing his wife at a young age. A staunch feminist, he worries about his daughter Cassie, and is highly protective of his sergeant, Alison “Tosh” McIntosh (Alison O’Donnell), who has not had her troubles to seek either. The epitome of the decent, thinking copper.
He said: Asked if a case was personal, he replied: “This is Shetland, so it’s always personal.”
Conclusion: You know what and who are important in your life, you stand by your principles, and you are probably the softest dad/cashpoint in the world. Never change.
SAGA NOREN, THE BRIDGE
Played by: Sofia Helin
Bio: Saga is a brilliant detective but a spectacularly awkward human being who has trouble interacting with colleagues. Saga does not do watercooler chat, or any chat for that matter.
She said: At a dinner party, asked if she would like the recipe for a dish, replied: “No. It wasn’t tasty.”
Conclusion: You dream of being as fearless as Saga, envy her liberated attitude towards sex, and would like to rock a pair of leather trousers like she does. Also a fan of Chrissie Hynde, Joan Jet and Suzi Quatro.
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