Two bereaved mothers – both total strangers – who were each grieving the loss of a child 5,000 miles apart – are now comforting each other, after a message in a bottle made them friends.
On holiday in Turkey, in July, just months after losing her beloved grandson, Lucas Smith, two, to meningitis, heartbroken Angela Oliver, 49, threw a bottle into the sea, containing his picture with his mother, Sasha, 23, and a touching message.
“I wrote about how much we loved Lucas and how we missed him,” said Angela, a college lecturer, of Glasgow. “Throwing the green wine bottle into the Mediterranean, I intended to set Lucas’ spirit free.”
By remarkable coincidence, a shortly afterwards, on the one-month anniversary of losing her 13-year-old daughter, Reyhan Safoglu – who once sang in a children’s choir for President Obama – another mother, Emel Safoglu from the USA, was grieving with family in Turkey, when she scooped the bottle from the waves.
After opening the bottle, which washed up in an isolated cove, Emel, of Burke, Virginia, read the message, which included the comment, “He was the sunshine in our lives and we miss him every day.”
Deeply moved, she connected with Angela via Facebook and has now become friends with her and her daughter, Sasha – who, like her, was a single mother.
They believe their children, who never met in life, are together, supporting each other in death.
“I’m not religious,” said Angela. “But it simply seems too much of a coincidence. Why would another mum who has been through such a tragedy pull the bottle from the sea otherwise?
“I truly believe Lucas and Reyhan are together, looking after one another and happy.”
For Emel, a real estate agent, 46, making contact with the two women, has been hugely comforting, as she felt completely isolated after her loss.
She said: “Now I understand that Reyhan died so she could care for Lucas. I know she is with him, happy and looking after him.
“Pulling that message from the sea, when I was in a very dark and sad place, showed me that there were others like me. I was, sadly, not the only grieving mother.”
Normally a bright and sunny child, Lucas had fallen ill on November 28, 2016 – the day the family put their Christmas decorations up.
“He initially just had a fever,” recalled Angela. “We weren’t unduly concerned. We put him to bed and checked in on him.”
But, just hours later, his hands and feet felt ice-cold.
Angela checked on him, noticing a rash on his stomach – a tell-tale sign of meningitis.
“I put a glass on it and it didn’t vanish,” she said, describing a test commonly used as an indicator of possible meningitis. “
Terrified, Angela and Sasha drove us to the Queen Elizabeth University Hospital in Glasgow.
At the hospital, he was diagnosed with suspected meningitis and put in a coma, to give him a chance to recover, as he was pumped full of antibiotics.
Briefly, his condition rallied, and Angela thought he would pull through.
She continued: “In my head, I thought he would survive. He seemed to be doing better. But it wasn’t to be.”
On December 3 during the early hours the vibrant child they loved so much died from meningococcal septicaemia – a combination of meningitis and septicaemia, or blood poisoning.
Sasha made the heart-breaking decision to turn his life support off.
Sasha, a care assistant, who lives with her mum, said: “It was just terrible bad luck that he got it and completely heart-breaking to lose him.
“The hospital gave me a recording of his heartbeat and at Build-a-Bear workshop, I was able to put the recording in a teddy bear which I call Lucas Bear.
“I had Lucas’ final box of nappies, so I put one on it.”
As the months progressed, the family, while still missing Lucas, came to terms with their grief.
And, in July, Angela decided to throw the bottle into the sea, during her fortnight long holiday her good friend Lesley in Fethiye, Turkey.
“It was my way of letting him go, letting him be free,” she explained.
Meanwhile, on June 28 this year, 5,000 miles away in Virginia, while hiking in Hemlock Overlook Regional Park, with her brother Baris Safoglu, 21, and cousin, Michael, 13, eight grader Reyhan was killed when she was struck by a train. Baris was in a different location, so was not in harm’s way.
However, Reyhan and her cousin were. The pair were walking on the tracks, on a bridge, when they heard the train approaching, but while Michael managed to jump out of the way, Reyhan was not so lucky.
Her mum Emel recalled: “Reyhan tried to outrun it, but she was hit and killed. It was an accident. No-one was to blame.
“Baris went to her. She was dead, but perfectly preserved, like she was sleeping.”
Remembering her daughter as an “extraordinarily kind” girl, Emel believed her untimely death was her destiny, as she had fulfilled so much in life already. Despite her young age, she had talked about her death and funeral.
She said: “I believe it was her destiny. My daughter was wise beyond her years. I shared a bed with her every night. She would give me dating advice. She earned straight As and was a competitive cheerleader.“She played volleyball, field hockey, lacrosse, soccer. She played violin in the school orchestra.”
About a month after Reyhan’s death, her mum went to Turkey, to visit family there.
She was thinking about her beautiful girl, when she sauntered into an isolated cove and noticed a green bottle, floating in the water. Pulling it out she found the picture inside and read Angela’s note. It said: “This note was launched on July 25, 2017. My name is Angela Oliver from Glasgow, Scotland.
“I’m sending the spirit and joy of my two-year-old grandson who passed away from meningitis on December 3, 2016. His name is Lucas Smith, born 13 July 2014. He was the sunshine in our lives and we miss him every day. I hope his spirit travels the world as we know he is still with us in spirit and forever in our hearts.
“Myself and my daughter Sasha send this with love and hope in our hearts. If you find, please contact.”
Instantly, Emel was convinced that Lucas and Reyhan were together in the afterlife. “It was such a moving moment,” she continued. “I knew then they were together.”
She managed to find both Sasha and Angela on Facebook, where they connected and have since shared tales about their children.
They have not met in person, but hope to when they have enough money. Emel said: “If I go to the UK, I will visit Glasgow and meet both these wonderful women, who have lost Lucas. He is, after all, with my daughter.”
Angela and Sasha also treasure the special bond they have formed with the grieving mother, across the Atlantic. “Finding the bottle wasn’t a coincidence,” said Sasha. “I think Reyhan and Lucas are together – looking after each other.
“It is a comfort for me to believe that my son, who I loved so very much, is with Reyhan who’ve I’ve been told was a very kind girl.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here