Kicking the bucket

WE asked about student flats, and a Glasgow reader tells us that years ago he and his chums played the classic trick on a flatmate who was annoying them of balancing a bucket of water over his partly open bedroom door. "Of course he spotted it," says our reader.

"Rather smugly he slowly removed it and took it to the kitchen sink to empty it. He then failed to notice that we'd removed the waste pipe below the sink.

"Happy days."

Sticky situation

THE not so publicity shy Scottish Tory leader Ruth Davidson is to appear on a charity edition of the TV show Great British Bake Off. Looking at the current state of the Tory Government, a Patrick reader wonders what she will make. "Eaton Mess?" he asks.

Older but wiser

Sad to hear of the death of Irish stand-up Sean Hughes who was always one of the more thoughtful and challenging performers at the Edinburgh Fringe. We recall a newspaper interview when the young writer asked him if he had any good advice about getting older.

"Not in an interview. I save all the good ideas for the show," he cooly replied.

And when The Herald asked him years ago what he was doing on the day of Prince William's marriage, unlike the gushing reply of others he simply said: "I'm going to take four or five tranquillisers and watch DVDs."

No laughing matter

RELATIONSHIPS continued. A Glasgow reader tells us he once heard a regular in his local tell everyone: "My wife tricked me into marrying her - she laughed at all of my jokes when we were going out."

Taking the biscuit

THE worlds first museum display about Alcoholics Anonymous has opened at Kelvingrove Art Gallery, detailing the organisation's history, and is curated by members of AA Archives Scotland. A Glasgow reader tells us she engaged in conversation with one of the organisers and she asked him what went on at the meetings. Apart from the serious side, he went on to say that there was an AA meeting in Edinburgh where it was proposed that chocolate biscuits as well as the usual digestives should be offered with the tea and coffee. "We spent almost an hour discussing it," he said. "Eventually we concluded that we would stick with plain digestives and anyone who wanted chocolate ones could bring their own."

Clapped out

WE mentioned artistes dealing with interruptions, and Paul O'Sullivan tells us: "In the late 70s there was a traditional Irish music event at the Albert Hall which had a group of German tourists attending. Christie Moore started a song and the Germans clapped along, as they had done for many of the songs. Christy came to an abrupt halt and said, 'Listen, I'm singing a song in 6/8 and you're clapping in 4/4. Either you stop clapping and let me sing or I stop singing and let you clap'."

Veiled threat

NOW here is a very small subset of jokes - London burghs. After our gag about Clapham, John Mulholland writes: "'I'm going to a wedding in North London at the weekend'. 'Maida Vale?' 'No, I don't want to upstage the bride'."

Setting a goal

HAMILTON Accies goalkeeper, Ryan Fulton, in a piece in Herald Sport, assured fans that the recent major financial fraud on the club would not affect performances on the field. Long suffering Accies fan, Davie Adams, tells us that after five straight defeats, surely something was urgently needed to affect performances.