IT’S been quite a week for put-upon millionaire Anas Sarwar. The would-be Scottish Labour leader has taken pelters over his family business, school choice and trousering a fortune in unearned dividends. It’s tough in the top 1 per cent. Perhaps stress explains one claim in Wednesday’s hustings in Glasgow. Despite leading Labour’s No campaign in 2014, he told a Yes voter in the audience he was also “someone who voted Yes in that referendum”. Almost as if the born-again Corbynite felt compelled to say whatever people wanted to hear.

THE hustings also produced one of the best jokes of the week about Mr Sarwar’s family firm, which pays less than the £8.45 an hour Labour itself promotes. At the end of the night, Mr Sarwar reheated his campaign slogan about parking Labour’s tanks on Nicola Sturgeon’s lawn, saying he would be on it “every day”. The FM promptly Tweeted that if he fancied mowing while he was there she would “even pay him the real living wage”. Ouch.

TALKING of Mr Sarwar’s school choice, Hutchesons’ Grammar is currently plugging its annual open day with the slogan “We are Hutchie. Be one of us.” The blurb purrs about its excellent results, creative arts, dedicated staff, impeccable socialist credentials etc. Ok, so we made the last one up. However it does claims its £10,000-a-year fees are "the best investment you will ever make". But not if you want to be Scottish Labour leader, we suspect.

MUMBLING assassin Alex ‘Da Hitman’ Rowley also did his bit to scupper Mr Sarwar’s chances of victory at FMQs. By giving the First Minister an open gaol to attack Mr Sarwar's luxury baggage, he showed the world why millionaires can’t front parties “for the many not the few”. So could the interim Labour leader fancy the top spot for himself? Our mole tells us definitely not. Mr Rowley was recently asked at a charity event whether he fancied the promotion. He was overheard describing the leadership, not unfairly, as “a snake pit”. So serpentine we hear some MSPs who declared early for Mr Sarwar are already ruing their haste.

STILL, at least Mr Sarwar has the slicker media operation. When Richard ‘Lefty’ Leonard kicked off his campaign, his press release was headed “Richard leaonard for labour leader - Launc, full text of speech”. Meanwhile, Mr Sarwar had a range of professional banners and posters ready. Alas, the small print showed these came from Edinburgh’s Treehouse Print, who for many years have been the preferred choice of… the Scottish Tories.

FINALLY, Coatbridge SNP MSP Fulton MacGregor has been writing in his local paper. He says folk moaning about the SNP’s record remind him of the scene in Monty Python’s Life of Brian, ‘What have the Romans ever done for us?’ Unfortunately, the accompanying picture was of a different scene showing the People’s Front of Judea - the nickname for the local SNP, a group so split by infighting that Mr MacGregor once said it made him “sick”. Oops.