Hello and welcome to The Midge, the e-bulletin that takes a bite out of politics in Scotland and elsewhere. 

Front pages

The Herald:

In The Herald, political editor Tom Gordon says Nicola Sturgeon used a speech last night to dramatically ramp up her rhetoric over indyref2. 

“Tories are wrecking devolution” is the headline in The National as it reports on the FM’s David Hume Institute speech. 

The Mail tells former BHS owner Sir Philip Green he has been “pardoned” after handing over £363 million to plug a hole in the company’s pension scheme. “The Mail hereby revokes the title Sir Shifty,” says the paper. 

The Guardian, in its report on Green, quotes a pensions expert saying: “This is not Sir Philip Green as the all-conquering hero. This is Sir Philip making the best of a bad job.”

The Times says Holyrood’s education committee has received hundreds of submissions raising concern over the state of special needs help. 

The Telegraph leads on a report from advisers to Ruth Davidson saying a bespoke Brexit deal for Scotland would cause the “fracturing” of free trade within the UK. The paper also reports Ukip MP Douglas Carswell is in secret talks to rejoin the Conservatives. 

The Herald:

Exclusive: In the Evening Times, Hannah Rodger reports on the toll drink has taken on one young Glaswegian. 

Camley’s cartoon

The Herald:

Camley spies an army on the march. And who is that little drummer woman in front?

FFS: Five in five seconds

What’s the story?

After Nicholas Soames received a telling-off for “barking” at the SNP MP Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh, another Tory MP has been accused of sexism. This time it’s the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Philip Hammond. 

Details?

During Treasury questions yesterday, Mary Creagh, the Labour MP for Wakefield, said 100,000 UK businesses had registered in Ireland to "hedge their bets" against the “uncertainty” caused by the Brexit vote.

What did the Chancellor say?

He urged Ms Creagh “not to be hysterical”. She then “schooled him”, as the young folks say, on the meaning of the term and the appropriateness of his language. She said: "My question on the registration of companies in Ireland had nothing to do with the condition of my womb travelling to my head, as is the traditional hysterics rhetoric. I expect that sort of language from the sketch writers of the Daily Mail, not from the Chancellor of the Exchequer." Watch the clip below, posted by ITV News Central political correspondent, Alison Mackenzie. 

Mr Hammond’s response?

“I did not, of course, accuse (Ms Creagh) of being hysterical – I urged her not to be hysterical. If my comments have caused any offence, I of course withdraw them unreservedly.” 

Smooth. And the Speaker?

“There is a difference between order and taste, and people will have their own view about taste,” said Mr Bercow. “But the point has been raised and the Chancellor has made a gracious statement in response, and I think that for today we should leave it there.” 

Afore Ye Go

The Herald:

"I do think it is bizarre that when it comes to London, Edinburgh, Belfast or Cardiff, that there is no acknowledgement of the Aids crisis.”

SNP MP Stewart McDonald (above, on election night) calls for a national memorial during a Commons debate to mark LGBT month. 

The Herald:

"I don't know how many packets of crisps the Prime Minister consumes per week, per day or per month, but she will be giving them up.”

A Number 10 spokesman on the PM and Lent. He did know, however, that her favourite flavour is salt and vinegar. Facundo Arrizabalaga - WPA Pool/Getty Images

The Herald:

Marine Le Pen, far-right candidate in the France’s presidential elections, meets Fine, the “star cow” of the 2017 agricultural fair in Paris. Ms Le Pen called for farm aid to be decided nationally rather than relying on Brussels. AP Photo/Christophe Ena

The trials of being a Tory peer, as outlined by Michelle Mone.

The Herald:

"I'm not involved. It's up to them. I'm retired.”

Former Ukip leader Nigel Farage on whether the party’s sole MP, Douglas Carswell, would be kicked out of the party. Mr Farage (above, sitting at the back of a Ukip press conference in London yesterday) had earlier called for this to happen. Victoria Jones/PA Wire

MPs won the annual media v MPs pancake race, not that the Mirror is bitter.

One voter has a theory as to what Shami Chakrabarti and Diane Abbott were discussing over a drink while the Parliamentary Labour Party met.

The Herald:

White House adviser Kellyanne Conway was taken to task by the Twitterati after this picture emerged of her kneeling on the Oval Office couch during a meeting with black colleges and universities. @AFP

The Herald:

From former Tory MP Louise Mensch

Anyone wishing to sponsor Michael Crick to run a marathon should contact him at Channel 4 news.

Thanks for reading. Twitter: @alisonmrowat