Hello and welcome to The Midge, the e-bulletin that takes a bite out of politics in Scotland and elsewhere. 

Front pages

The Herald:

In The Herald, UK political editor Michael Settle says Downing Street has backed Defence Secretary Michael Fallon’s declaration that Nationalists should forget about holding indyref2. 

The National pictures Theresa May with the headline, “This isn’t ‘settled’ Prime Minister.”

“How much do you care about Scots paying the highest taxes in the UK?” asks the Mail in its coverage of the Budget.

The Times says the SNP deal with the Greens to freeze the higher rate threshold at £43,000 will affect 372,000 Scots. 

“Middle-classes pay price of Budget deal” is the Telegraph’s take. It also pictures Penelope Fillon, the wife of French presidential candidate Francois Fillon, who is under attack over his employment of family members. Mrs Fillon told the paper in 2007 she "had never been actually his assistant or anything like that". 

The Guardian reports Michael Fallon’s speech at St Andrews University in which he accused Russia of “weaponising misinformation”. 

The Herald:

In the Evening Times, Vivienne Nicoll reports on the expansion of Glasgow's bike hire scheme. 

Camley’s cartoon

The Herald:

Camley finds the vegetable shortages are beginning to bite. Read the story here. 

FFS: Five in five seconds

What’s the story? Another day, another canine-themed insult from the Conservative benches.  

Explain? Jackson Carlaw MSP has called Holyrood’s Green MSPs shaved poodles for helping the minority SNP administration get its Budget through. Read political editor Tom Gordon’s story here. The LibDems and Scottish Labour joined in the attacks on the Greens, with Labour leader Kezia Dugdale saying: "To accept anything less than bold use of this Parliament's tax powers is an astonishing and deeply disappointing revelation from the Greens."

And the previous canine-themed insult? On Monday, Tory MP Sir Nicholas Soames shouted “woof, woof” at SNP MP Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh in the Commons. Apologising later, he said it had been a “friendly canine salute” because he thought she had “snapped” at Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson. It is not the first noteworthy jibe of Mr Carlaw’s. 

No? Having previously called FM Nicola Sturgeon “Scotland’s Evita” he is acquiring a reputation as Holyrood’s bard of witty barbs, the Mrs Merton of Eastwood, Scotland’s answer to Alan Clark … you get the idea. 

He’s keeping a diary? Oh, we do hope so. 

Afore Ye Go

The Herald:

“Strange is it not that a Tory party that proclaims it would be so confident of winning a referendum on independence now talks about trying to block it. Isn't it the case that the Tories are actually running a wee bit feart?”

FM Nicola Sturgeon responds to yesterday’s front page story in The Herald in which Defence Secretary Michael Fallon said the SNP should forget about holding indyref2. Stefan Rousseau/PA Wire

The Herald:

"We all know what is going on here. She bottled it.”

Labour MP John Mann on Diane Abbott, the shadow Home Secretary, who missed the vote on the Brexit bill. Ms Abbott had complained of a migraine. Shadow chancellor John McDonnell said she had “Brexit flu”. BBC News. Peter Macdiarmid/Getty Images

Tory MP Nadine Dorries feels the need to share her views on Ms Abbott.

Ms Abbott was not at home to an ITV News crew.

"I want to just pray for Arnold ... for those ratings.”

Donald Trump does it his way in a speech at the National Prayer Breakfast. The president said Arnold Schwarzenegger had been “disastrous” on Celebrity Apprentice, the TV show Mr Trump used to host. CNN.  Win McNamee/Getty Images

Arnold Schwarzenegger comes back at the president. Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

Andrew Collins on a striking Time cover featuring Donald Trump's chief strategist, Steve Bannon.

About that US-Australia phone call...

Meanwhile, Trainspotting star Ewan McGregor is backing a letter to America:

The Herald:

“Fortunately the White House press room is on the ground floor, which is good because that way Sean won't hurt himself when he eventually jumps out the window.”

Jimmy Kimmel spares a thought for the under-siege White House press secretary Sean Spicer.  Mark Wilson/Getty Images. Mr Spicer, who accused the media of lying about the size of the president's inauguration crowd, has been proving a hit with Twitter users such as Laura Bradley, who imagines his take on Beyonce's pregnancy news:

 

The Beyonce pics also tickled Guardian columnist Gaby Hinsliff:

The Herald:

Thanks for reading. See you Monday. Twitter: @alisonmrowat