GENTLE readers, if we needed any confirmation we have entered the Twilight Zone of British politics, it came beside the seaside at a blustery Brighton.
Tory John Bercow addressing the brothers and sisters of the TUC impersonating Tony Benn. I had to question whether someone had slipped something into my breakfast tea as the surreal events of late just became even more surreal.
What next, I wondered, as Comrade Bercow sought to woo Congress; arch-Eurosceptic Peter Bone announced as the new leader of the Conservative Party or Nigel Farage named as the new President of the European Commission?
There had been talk of a Bercow Boycott by the comrades but they turned up – admittedly, not in overwhelming numbers - to listen to the Westminster politician attempting to tickle the tummies of the TUC.
Comrade Bercow sought to impress with his Socialist credentials, making clear the Commons Commission, which he chairs, had ensured everyone employed at Westminster was on the London Living Wage and had introduced a ban on anyone having to be on zero hours contracts who did not want to be.
The comrades applauded in a strained but polite way.
At one point, Mr B went historical and talked about Magna Carta and the “rebel baron”, Simon de Montford; eyes flitted quickly from left to right to see if any of the modern day rebel barons – McCluskey, Prentis, Kenny or Serotka – were present. None was spotted; they probably had better things to do.
Then came the Benn moment. A chorus of comrades muttered “oh dear” as the diminutive Speaker launched into his party piece.
He quoted the late great Socialist and his five questions about leadership. “’What power have you got? Who gave it to you? In whose interests do you exercise it? To whom are you accountable? And how can we get rid of you?”
Mr B went on to tick a number of comradely boxes, praising the “heroic struggle of the Tolpuddle Martyrs” and the work of trades unions in supporting the rights of workers around the world.
The Speaker noted how 30 years ago as a young, bright-eyed right-wing Conservative student leader he would have not wanted to address the TUC and, “believe me,” he noted, “you would not have wanted to be addressed by me”.
But Mr B insisted he was “proud to be here” as the first Speaker ever to address the Congress and ended his short speech with a final tummy tickle, saying how he admired and respected the “invaluable and precious work that you do” in promoting fairness in the workplace and equality across wider society.
Remarkably(not), Comrade Bercow failed to mention the two topics on everyone’s mind; Jeremy Corbyn’s election as Labour leader or the hated Trades Union Bill.
And, of course, the Speaker’s non-mention of David Cameron’s controversial legislation happened just hours before Mr B was due in the Commons to preside over the Second Reading of the Government Bill,which the comrades believe is aimed at destroying the trades unions. Tony Benn would not be pleased.
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