ALAN Shearer was not too sure what he was doing in a disused church in Robert Street, Port Glasgow, for three hours yesterday. Not that the Newcastle United and England striker had lost the plot, it was just that the people making The Match, a romantic comedy movie about football, hadn't told him exactly what the plot was.

The Geordie soccer hero's arrival on the film set was a closely-guarded secret - known only to his agent, the movie crew, and a crowd of eager schoolkids who, having heard the message on the local jungle drums, turned up to catch a glimpse.

Shearer agreed to make a brief cameo appearance in the movie ( playing himself) in a scene set in an old garage (played by the old church).

The film's writer/director, Mick Davis, and producer Alan Scott, appear to be making a habit of persuading top celebrities to come to Scotland for walk-on parts. Last week it was the turn of Bond star Pierce Brosnan to turn up on set when they were filming in darkest Ayrshire.

Asked what precisely he was doing in the film, Shearer replied with a smile: ''I don't really know. You tell me. The question was asked through the person who looks after me (his agent, presumably) and I had a spare afternoon, so here I am.''

Apart from television adverts, this was the player's first acting appearance. With Vinnie Jones making a big hit in the new comedy thriller Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, did Shearer perhaps see a similar future for himself on the big screen?

''I don't think I'd be able to stand the pace,'' he joked as he stood around waiting for his rehearsal to begin.

The Match, set in a Highland village, is about a football game, the result of which will determine whether or not a local pub survives. It stars Max Beesley, James Cosmo, Richard E. Grant, David Hayman, Laura Fraser, Ian Holm, David O'Hara, Bill Paterson, Tom Sizemore, Isla Blair, Samantha Fox, Neil Morrissey, and Andy Gray. Oh, and Alan Shearer.