The Celtic players still refuse to explain the significance of the ''Smell the Glove'' slogan on their post-match T-shirts. Thus we have had to embark on a mission similar to that chap in the film Citizen Kane who had to find out about Rosebud.

Luckily, we have the internet to help us and a chap who operates under the nom de guerre of Mark O'Negri is sure he has the answer: ''Smell the Glove is, I think, a reference to the Ne'erday game. So ineffective were Rangers on that occasion that Jonathan Gould didn't have a single save to make. After the game, one of the players (Jackie McNamara I think) was heard to comment that 'Jonny didnae even have to pit his gloves in the washin'.'' Mr O'Negri wins a bottle of Celtic whisky.

qScottish football fans may have to rethink their position vis-a-vis Jimmy Hill, who has a chapter to himself (with comparative asides to William Wallace) in a new book about the Tartan Army.

Over the Top (Luath Press #7.99) has been penned by Andy McArthur, who manages to fit in his work as an academic at a leading Scottish seat of learning with his trips following the Scotland team. Mr McArthur is a something of a collector of Tartan Army bons mots.

His book is full of little asides such as: ''I'd just been chatting with a policewoman who was finding it difficult to hold a conversation because on the other side of her a guy in a tartan tammy and scarf was giving a police horse a drink out of his can of beer.''

The chapter about Mr Hill, the eminent football pundit, deals with the chant about Scottish fans hating him and imputing an imagined sexual orientation on his part.

Mr Hill put up with this until a Tartan Army page appeared on the Inernet with the offending We Hate Jimmy Hill, He's a Poof translated into 36 languages, including Mandarin and Zulu. Mrs Hill was particularly upset on his behalf, citing the five children he had sired. Mr Hill put his lawyers on the case. The Internet page was removed and the sponsors, a large brewery, paid an out of court settlement.

In writing his book, Andy McArthur had to repeat all the details. As a matter of courtesy, and to forestall any legal repercussions, Andy sent Mr Hill an advance copy.

He wrote back saying he had enjoyed the book but said to Andy ''not to pop in for tea when his wife was in''. Mr Hill also enclosed a cheque for #100 made out to the Children's Hospice Association Scotland, the charity which is receiving the royalties from the book.

qAsk a Celtic fan how he or she is these days and the answer is ''Champion. Just champion.'' There are some Celtic fans who are ending business telephone calls to colleagues of an Ibrox persuasion with the words: ''OK. Champion.''

Meanwhile, here are some trivia questions for the pub quiz:

What was the name of the wonder horse in the TV series? Champion.Which jockey, first name Bob, rode Aldaniti to victory in the Grand National? Champion. In which TV series did Alexandra Bastedo star in the 1970s? The Champions.

q A Celtic fan over from Canada said he was always confident that Rangers would not win the league this year. He explained in a Wink Martindale kind of way that the answer lay in the Canadian dime in his pocket.

He produced the coin and explained: ''The image on the reverse of the coin is a sailing boat which is very famous in Canada.

''It made nine journeys but foundered on its attempt at a tenth,'' he said. And so? ''It's a schooner called the Bluenose.''