AS sunlight-tinted liquid falls drip-dripping into dark oak barrels, a voice-over for the whisky advert of the twenty-first century could go like this:
''Our 10-year-old malt is conceived of water softened by billion year old peat. It is born of a technique perfected by a thousand generations of leathery-skinned crofters. It is matured for five years in earth-dark oak casks. Then it is cooked up in a microwave for a few ticks to make it taste just like the real 10-year-old stuff.''
A new technique has, in all seriousness, been developed to make 10-year-old whisky in five years - using a microwave.
The method came about because of a need to find decent old whisky barrels. New oak does not have sufficient perforations to let the whisky flow in and out of the wood to produce the distinctive flavour of malt. Until recently, American casks were used, but declining bourbon sales meant this source is slowly drying up.
So a way of rapidly ageing new oak was developed - by heating it with microwaves.
However, a Scottish Hydro-Electric team, tasked by the Department of Trade and Industry, discovered that ''cooking'' the casks had an additional effect - that of maturing the whisky at double the speed.
Enthusiastic supporters of the technique believe the customer does not have to be deceived about its age for the new whisky to be twice as good.
Mr Stuart Harvey, production manager of Highland Malt Distilling, said: ''A five-year-old with the characteristics of a 10-year-old is perfectly feasible.''
Mr Brian Buchanan, who is leading the Hydro-Electric research project, pointed out that it could also be good for ordinary whisky.
''I think where the real impact may be is in greatly improving the quality of the grain and malt components of blended whisky.''
Purists, however, will watch the whisky ads of the future and fume.
''It is absolutely preposterous,'' said one whisky executive, who refused to be named.
''To suggest such an assault on the sanctity of the production process is criminal in itself, but I just don't think it will work. It won't convince the public and I'll be surprised if it convinces the taste buds.''
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article