A battered mother, who wanted to be known only as ''Susan'', told officers at the conference that abuse against her began as soon as she was married.

''I could tell by the way the door banged when he came home if it was going to be yet another night of violence,'' she said.

''The door would be locked and he had the key.''

The police attended about10 incidents at her home in the two years before she left, but her husband, although locked up overnight a couple of times, was never taken to court.

She said: ''The police were very good at saying I had to get out of the situation. But not one of them said 'I can help you to get away'. It would have been so much better if the police could advise me on getting to somewhere safe.

''The call-outs were treated as just a 'domestic'. The police would tell me that my husband was all quiet now and 'Call us again if you need to'.''

Susan left home but returned later to avoid losing her council home and all her possessions and because her children were missing their friends. But eventually she saw that the situation would only end in death or serious injury and she took the decision to quit for good.

''I was standing, cooking, when he came in in his usual way and kicked an airer across the room,'' she said. ''I grabbed the kids and the dog and just left. The police did help me go back and recover some of my personal possessions.

''I would urge abused women in the same situation to let people know what is happening in their life. One of the hardest things is not knowing what is going to happen to you if you leave, and it is so important that the police can advise on what agencies can help.

''Don't hide it and don't be ashamed. It is not your fault.

''Seek advice and ask for help - and certainly don't make excuses for him like I did and lost years of my life over it.

''Although all this was five years ago, I am still aware he is in the area.

''I think it is safe to say that any woman involved in a situation like this has to learn to live looking over her shoulder.''