SCOTTISH drinkers will travel farther than anyone else to find a decent pub rather than visit their local, an industry report on the nation's drinking habits revealed yesterday.
However, once they get there, they couldn't give a Castlemaine XXXX whether they are given a Parson's Nose or the Bishop's Finger.
The survey by analysts Mintel shows friendly banter with the bar staff mattered most to 45% of Scots, while just 5% were most concerned about the quality of the ale.
By contrast, almost a quarter of people in North-west England and 22% of drinkers in South-west England and Wales cited good beer as the main reason for choosing a boozer.
Only 16% of Scots went to the pub because it was local, compared to 27% of Londoners. Mintel also found Scots were happier about nipping in for a dram during the day than tipplers in the rest of the UK, but less likely to go out in the evening.
Adherence to the other form of spiritualism may account for just 11% of Scots visiting the bar on the Lord's Day, while Sunday lunchtime drinking remains a strong English tradition.
Despite rising beer duties and fewer inns, the number of Britain's pub-goers has risen since 1993 and they are expected to spend a record #23m this year, although alcohol's pulling power is wearing off.
British drinkers each spend #512 a year in pubs, but only #300 of that goes on booze, with the rest paying for pub grub, snacks, soft drinks, fruit machines, and other extras.
The average spend is even more remarkable considering almost half of Britain's adults claim they never go to a pub during the daytime.
Three-quarters of Britons visited pubs last year, compared with around 71% in 1993, as the new wave of trendy bars, theme pubs, old-style inns, and better food have helped pubs shed their dingy old image.
A similar survey carried out five years ago found the main priorities in choosing a bar were quality beer, being able to get a seat, and live music.
Now punters look for good food, somewhere to meet, satellite television, or a particular theme.
According to the survey, Saturday nights are still the biggest draw, attracting four in 10 pub-goers, followed by Friday nights, which pull in three in 10.
Men are still more likely to go to a pub than women, and are twice as likely to do so during the daytime.
Mintel suggests women prefer socialising during livelier times of day, with older women in particular still feeling daytime drinking ''is not right''.
The report, based on interviews with 1000 adults, found most were very loyal to their favourite watering holes. One in four adults stuck to just one pub, while a further quarter said they had two regular haunts, while only 4% will visit 10 or more pubs in a single month.
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