IN an ideal world they would have been showing the new Kurt Russell film Breakdown. A new #660,000 mobile cinema had been ordered to take movies to the outer reaches of Scotland - Cinema Paradiso with a tartan fringe.
It was driven all the way from Glasgow to Islay. Rab C Nesbitt actor Gregor Fisher was to perform the opening ceremony. Highlands and Island Enterprise had opened its sporran to book an
eight-seater charter plane to take officials over for the opening. Islanders were excitedly swopping recipes for popcorn.
Then reality shouted: ''Cut''.
The Screen Machine, as it is named, had not survived the twisting roads to Islay. Built around the chassis of an articulated lorry, it was supposed to fold out into a plush, air-conditioned auditorium, seating 110. Only it didn't.
Along the way, the lorry had bottomed out, damaging the frame so that it could not easily be opened.
And so the people of Islay were unable to see the award-winning film, Mrs Brown.
Instead of starting its inaugural 28-day tour of remote villages and towns, the Screen Machine is limping back to Manchester for its builders to repair the steel floor which was warped in the journey from Glasgow.
It wasn't even Whisky Galore, as a lunch for 80 to launch the machine at Bowmore Distillery went ahead with many of the dignitaries missing.
As a spokesman for Highlands and Island Enterprise, putting on his best Braveheart face, said: ''We couldn't go ahead with the launch, and have had to postpone the first tour until the problem is sorted out. Almost the entire team from the manufacturers are here, trying to sort it out.
''It is a brand new thing, custom-built and you have to expect a few teething problems.''
In a road movie which went sadly wrong, Mr John Mansell of builders Lynton Commercial Units, explained: ''The unit grounded on the Loch Lomond road. This caused the rear wheels to hop, and this hopping caused floor panels to twist very slightly.
''It's a minor problem in manufacturing terms, but unfortunately because we are in Islay it is not easy to rectify. We will have to return to Manchester to carry out the repairs and adjust the trailer to the right height off the ground to prevent any recurrence.
''We thought it was high enough, but unfortunately this was not the case. I would say there was no fault on the driver's part. The cinema is fully operational, apart from the fact that we cannot open and close it easily. It was just an unfortunate incident.''
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