AS any hack will tell you, Eve begat Fair Play in the Garden of Eden where she allowed Adam to use running shoes in the games of chases which were the necessary prelude to the begetting of Cain and Abel, etc. If the poor lad had chased in vain, where would that have left us all? The rest is history as they say. So let us not dismiss Fair Play as some soppy invention of the Victorian English Public School where games-masters straight from Kitchener's redoubt and the rest would demand a boot in the ribs followed by the statutory helping hand to the victim.

Fair Play has always been about tipping the hat to ideals and reminding us that we cannot always attribute merit solely to the person who breasts the tape first. At least that is how I recall it was put to me by voices through the years who admittedly now sound like the echoes of boring old farts.

But even before the ultimate capitalist classification by American coach Vince Lombardi that ''Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing'', the idea of Fair Play seemed to be coming from that dark corner inhabited only by wimps. Central to its concept was, of course, respect for your opponent. But contempt for him was gaining more credence.

Indeed, an English hack reported to us this week that no less than that ''parfait English knight'' Sir Alf Ramsey told someone to ''take out'' Colin Stein in a game and after the assassin got Stein stretchered off was duly reminded that there were still 10 other Scots left. It's a beautiful story and I hope it is true for I would rather a figure like Sir Alf was seen in genuine light as a purveyor of managerial ruthlessness without which a World Cup could not have been won, rather than the emotionless prude of popular image.

At least there is something genuine about these men who have laid down with stringent legitimacy the need to win above all else. It may seem crude and reprehensible but it is recognisable. It is that essentially which makes UEFA's handling of this concept by comparison seem so clumsy and artificial.

The more they try to promote Fair Play as a definable entity based on a points system the phonier it seems. Let us suppose that Aberdeen or Dundee United were to qualify for Europe by the arcane route of points for good behaviour, are we to imagine that this stems from a dressing-room philosophy that over-rides all other considerations? For that is really what this system seems to imply.

Jim Maclean lecturing daily on moral re-armament? Whatever other sterling qualities Jim has, you cannot see him leading men into battle with a soft-shoe shuffle. Any side which has a decidedly better disciplinary record than any other deserves credit for that, but that is all. What UEFA is doing is creating a false agenda almost as if to absolve itself from the blame of doing nothing to stem deterioration in field conduct.

Doing something simply for the sake of doing something is hardly the way to conduct any feasible business and, rightly, UEFA deserve some ridicule for the manner in which they are trying to foist upon us the false notion that less able teams ought to be rewarded over more worthy opponents so that people don't kick each other any longer.

However, we can't simply walk away from the vital area of sports conduct even though UEFA with its pompous ways might give us the perfect excuse to do so. We know that the ultimate corruption of Fair Play is the taking of performance-enhancing drugs to gain advantage over others. But in a more immediate sense what values will be at stake in the next week with so much at stake in football?

We have two domestic British cup finals, a European final and a duel between two Scottish clubs for a European place all in sight. You can take it that prior to these contests hardly anybody will be chuntering on about Fair Play. Fergie who can put the fear of death into his acquaintances, let alone his opponents, is liable to be lucidly stern and to the point. Advocaat and Venglos will insist on commitment. Williamson and Clark will demand ceaseless effort.

Fair Play arises from a regard for the conventions of their trade and not through special sermons. If it strays beyond that, and inevitably it will if there is that emotional dimension, then let them accept the full brunt of the law falling on them. For in truth, sport is blessed by imperfections not blighted by them. UEFA would do well to ditch their anodyne schemes and pick up the theme of the age, tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime.