The staff at F&S are never short of an excuse to crack open a bottle or two. So you can guess that Fattorini, who has become a father, did not tarry too long before commencing the celebrations.

In fact, to cope with the stress of the delivery of the bairn, Lucy Anne, he took recourse to some of his dear lady wife's supply of gas and air. His tasting notes for this mixture read: ''The nose was dumb, but not unpleasant; lacking

any fruit, and flavour similarly disappointing. However, the effect is floaty, woozy and distinctly pleasant.'' Mrs Fattorini failed to contribute any tasting notes.

Now that the little one has arrived, the time for real wine tasting has begun. First on the list was Pelorus, an old favourite and, says rugby aficionado Fattorini, the best thing to come out of New Zealand since Jonah Lomu.

From the same people who make Cloudy Bay, the world's most over-rated wine, this sparkler is neither over-rated nor over-priced. It has a wonderfully toasty aroma and a fine mousse of bubbles precedes a gorgeously complex palate of fruit and yeasty flavours.

The problem with Pelorus is that it disappears from the shelves like snow off a dyke. Oddbins Fine Wine shop in Mitchell Street, Glasgow, has sold out of its small allocation of the latest vintage at #13. The Ubiquitous Chip shop has 1992 Pelorus at #23.85, or nearly six babygrows.

The babygrow, valued at about #4, has become the unit of currency in the Fattorini household by which wine prices are measured. Under this system introduced by Mrs F, vintage Krug at 20 babygrows a bottle is seen as completely unacceptable.

Some other celebratory sparklers not too high on the babygrow index: Billecart-Salmon (Oddbins, 5.5 babygrows); the ultra-dry Pol Roger White Foil, widely available at 5.5 babygrows; and the heavenly, off-dry Louis Roederer at Justerini & Brooks, just a touch more expensive at six babygrows.

Chez Shields the unit of currency is the Brazil-Scotland World Cup ticket which comes in at #137, nearly two bottles of vintage Krug or 34 babygrows.

In mellow - not to say maudlin - mode, Fattorini has been thinking ahead to the wines he would wish to offer his daughter on her 21st birthday. To be more exact, he has been thinking of what he would like to drink on that day. Some of the great 1994 ports, for instance. A combination of great weather, very limited supply, and no major vintage declaration in the previous nine years (yes, another nine-in-a-row situation) have meant that these ports are rather expensive.

Starting at #40 for lesser-known houses, bigger name Taylor's is selling at #70. That's a lot of babygrows but a great investment in the future.

Searching through the dictionary of wines, Shields has found a small vineyard in southern England which produces reputedly delicious whites which are entirely appropriate to Fattorini's new duties on the nappy front. It is called Breaky Bottom.

l Tom Shields will be drinking champagne at France '98. Joe Fattorini will be pushing a pram on Byres Road