Albert Naismith gives his regards to the city that never sleeps

The police-car sirens shrieking up to the 102nd floor of the Empire State Building are an enduring memory of New York. They are redolent of the impotence of law and order - indeed any kind of order - to cope with Earth's most concrete jungle.

It is as you gaze across the famous vistas of this great and grasping city that you realise that, different views of the Hudson and East River apart, you are looking at much the same thing. The

buildings may have different names, the people inside them may tackle different nine-to-five endeavours, but everywhere there are well, buildings.

''If this was Chicago there would be pools on top of them,'' said an American voice behind me. He was right. Go up the John Hancock Tower and you will observe swimming pools at the top of the condominiums, a reasonable sprinkling of greenery, and the broad sweep of Lake Michigan. New York in contrast

is an unforgiving hive of high-rise reminders that profit is queen bee and people no more than workers. Central Park is the exception which proves the rule, and native New Yorkers thank God for its many open-air pleasures.

And yet, everyone should visit New York if at all possible. Walk through Times Square and discover it's not square at all - it's a kind of triangle. Stroll along Broadway and find that it's narrow if not

narrow-minded. Nip into Lindy's for lunch and hear the waitress

tell you that no, it isn't the original. And don't take no video shots in here.

Try to photograph the girl done up as the Statue of Liberty and realise that her minder is holding his hand in front of your camera until you pay the required dollar. Land of the free? But America's capital city of ''screw-you'' capitalism has its own rules and you should enjoy it for what it is and not what you wanted it to be.

You are, after all, in a foreign country. Basically the language

is the same and you are soon engaging cab drivers, etc, in the dialogue they understand. There are certain expressions which translate perfectly well should a dispute arise as you cope with an environment where you are only as good as your last 20% tip.

The people wilt in the heat, snarl at you, and greet you with radiant smiles the next day. They would like to be more stable

but life's not like that. Not in

New York.

You seek the natural world in Central Park and you find it. Its ponds, zoo, theatre, and grassland are what keep New Yorkers sane. No wonder the celebs have their apartments alongside.

You listen to the police-car sirens from Fifth Avenue as you find a bench. Pursuit in this grid-ironed city must be impossible. Often the siren is reduced to a plaintive and repetitive ''whoop'' as the squad car attempts to

shuffle its way past indignant limos, cabs and delivery lorries. Sensible travellers in New York go by Rollerblade.

Experienced visitors to big cities will know that an initial conducted tour has much going for it. In New York this is accomplished from the unlikely viewpoint of a London bus. They never had double-deckers in the Big Apple and have had to import open-topped versions of these bumpy rejects.

The tours bring Chinatown, the riverside, the Twin Towers of the World Trade Centre, the UN headquarters, Little Italy, Wall Street and the sights of theatreland, Fifth Avenue, and Madison Avenue within touching distance. Hopping on and off is a good way to see this startling city on one's own terms and when you have witnessed back-packers ask in Tiffany's about necklaces that turn out to be worth half a million dollars, you realise there's no need for British reserve.

Niceties don't work, anyway, in New York. Visitors to the Statue of Liberty have to suffer an hour-long queue for the ferry, a three-hour wait to get to the top, another long wait to get back on the ferry, and then a moron continually yelling at them to ''step up the gangway'' a bit faster. Like sardines in a tin being asked to move up a bit.

Such exasperation deserves a reward and open-air lunch at

the Rockefeller Plaza - the part which becomes an ice rink in

winter - is not a disappointment. Neither is Trump Tower with its indoor waterfalls, atrium and designer shops. And the wedge-shaped Flatiron Building is a quaint reminder of the days when New York was just beginning to discover that steel-framed buildings could reach into the sky.

Had it not been for those heady pioneers of nine decades ago, the landscape of this city and the state of its inhabitants' nerves might now be less jagged. But somewhere along the line the world would have lost out.

n Travel facts: Those on a budget can find plenty of places to eat and drink cheaply. In the burger capital of the world it is also possible to find good-quality meals at reasonable prices but if you want something fancier New York prices can soar as high as the Empire State Building.

It is not only compulsory but wise to have a good insurance policy and the one from Thomas Cook covering a 31-day visit, flight only, will cost around #60. Package holidaymakers will have to pay in the region of #70.

Vaccinations are not compulsory but ask your GP about an anti-tetanus jag. And although visas are no longer needed for visiting the USA, you have to fill in a green waiver form on the plane.

People snarl at you, and greet you with radiant smiles the next day. They would like to be more stable but life's not like that. Not in New York.