WE are all serving a life sentence in the dungeon of self, according to the British critic Cyril Connolly. However, men appear to have been up against the hanging judge, writes Cameron Simpson.

If a report published today is to be believed, then men - those creatures with two legs and eight hands, according to the actress Jayne Mansfield - are twice as selfish as women. Which goes some way to explaining why they need quadruple the hands.

The report makes grim reading for women who are preparing to do battle over the remote control during the World Cup.

A study in the Economic Journal found that women are far more selfless, generous, and socially-oriented than their menfolk.

In trials funded by the Economic and Social Research Council, men and women were given hypothetical grants of $10 and asked to choose how much to keep and how much they would give to a partner.

On average, the women gave away $1.6, while the men were prepared to share only 82 cents. In addition, researchers found women were far more likely to give anything at all. A total of 53% of women chose to give away some of their cash, compared with only 40% of the men.

The study, said the report authors, showed that differences in the way men and women behave in other social settings also affected how they make economic decisions. And it ''proved'', scientifically, that women are less selfish than men.

But not all is lost for men. As Eleanor Roosevelt, the wife of FD Roosevelt, once noted:

''No man can make you feel inferior without your consent.''