IF YOU have to be in a soap opera, try not to get the worst role, pop singer Boy George once said. However, the Boy's warning washed right over Scotsmen's heads, writes Cameron Simpson.

According to a new report, the average Scotsman spends less on deodorant and anti-perspirant than any other male in Britain. His bit-part in the soap opera of life is confirmed by the fact that he also spends less time in the bathroom each morning compared with pampered Englishmen, particularly down south. The only chorus of comfort for many Scottish women is that men north of the Border are not the worst spenders on soap, shower gel, and shampoo. Those dubious honours go to the rugged male inhabitants of North-west and North-east England and Yorkshire, according to the report by industry analysts Mintel.

The report shows that across Britain it is men who are gradually taking over the bathroom mirror and spending hours browsing round fragrance counters.

One in 10 men nationally takes more than 25 minutes getting ready each morning. Down south this goes up to one in five but in Scotland it is only 9%, the joint lowest regional figure along with Wales and North-west and South-west England.

The men's grooming market is now worth #577m a year, up by more than #50m a year since 1995. The biggest boom has been in skincare and related products, up 25%. Fragrances and deodorants are up by a fraction of that, just three and four per cent.