It was a magic moment when the ticket for the Brazil-Scotland ticket popped through the letterbox. So long a dream, the World Cup was becoming a reality. My own ticket, my own seat for the opening game of France 98 in the Stade de France.
I studiously ignored comments from those not of a footballing mind who looked at the ticket's face value of #133 and asked: ''Does that include the return flight, accommodation, and full board?'' Try to explain that footballing history does not come cheap.
It was the accompanying letter from le petit caporal - Monsieur Jim Farry of the SFA - which slightly spoiled the moment. In his note, M. Farry felt obligated to point out the importance of keeping the ticket in a safe place at all times.
In some detail le petit caporal explained that if you lose your your ticket, or if it somehow becomes damaged, there can be no replacements. If anything happens to your ticket, you will not get into the Grand Gemme on June 10.
Panic set in immediately. The ticket was placed for safe-keeping inside the passport. But what if you lose the passport? Exactly where can you keep your brief safe? After these dark warnings, M. Farry, who presumably won't have to worry about looking after his ticket, added a cheerful sentence: ''I hope that you have a wonderful time at the World Cup.''
q Entirely uppermost in the mind of the Tartan Army visitors to France 98 will be the metaphysical and philosophical elements of the event. For those who wish to mug up on these aspects we recommend a 100-page supplement to Le Monde, the respected French daily newspaper. French writers have been busy intellectualising le beau gemme. Reuters reports that symposiums, books, and newspaper articles are busy tackling issues like the ''footballisation of society'', ''supporterism'' or the stadium as ''a dense and infernal socio-psychic space.''
The debate in Le Monde has produced such contributions as this from Gerard Ernault, editorial director of France-Football magazine: ''The round ball draws its origins from the solar myth, the universal myth par excellence. The trajectory of the sun-ball? It could be none other than the course of destiny, our destiny.''
Or as Paul Cooney is wont to say on the Radio Clyde phone-in of a Saturday evening: ''Que est votre point, calleur?''
q It is not only national team coaches who are faced with tough decisions for the World Cup. Fans who are staying at home in sunny Glasgow have the choice of two tented venues in city parks where they may view the Scotland games in a vast, noisy and crowded ambience.
There is the Tartan Tent on Glasgow Green, sponsored by a well-known brewery. You have to pay to get in, up to #10 for the Brazil game, but there is pre-match entertainment and presumably a beer or two to be purchased. It is the kind of occasion to which you would obviously love to take the wife and weans but, sorry, hen, it's really not that suitable.
Hard luck, Jimmy, there is also the Nescafe United event in Bellahouston Park. It is designed to ''offer the whole family all of the atmosphere and the excitement of the World Cup in a safe, outdoor, alcohol-free environment''. Tickets are free upon application, the weans can have their faces painted, and there is unlimited coffee available.''
Absolutely no cairry-oots are permitted. New men, please form an orderly queue with wife and weans.
q A touching scene in a Washington bar the night before the Scotland-USA match. A very pretty local lady is telling people that she has just been drinking with some of the Scottish players. Some kindly Scots football writers point out to the lady that these chaps are, in fact, fans in Scotland jerseys. ''But why would they lie?'' she asks, obviously unaware of the second-favourite pursuit of the Tartan Army.
q The Scottish Claymores are doing their best to see American football take root in these parts. One of the many lively ideas the Claymore marketeers have come up with is the chance for sponsors to buy the shirt of each player.
Thus Claymore shirts with names such as Flickinger, Zitelli, and Couper can be seen around. One of the Claymore players so far yet to have a sponsor bear his name is an outstanding running back by the name of Bender.
q You can contact Tom Shields on tshields@cims. co.uk.
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