The show must go on - even in difficult circumstances, says Deedee Cuddihy

UNEXPECTED visitors often cause problems but they have nothing on the show home visitors from hell - a dedicated group who can turn up at any time.

There was the elderly couple who, having had a good look around, sit in the lounge, ate a picnic of sandwiches and thermos of tea, then left after thanking the bemused sales negotiator.

Then there was the toddler who lost his parents as they walked around another show home and was eventually discovered, fast asleep, in the cot of a nursery bedroom.

New homes sales negotiators have many such stories: ''In the days before smoking was seen as anti-social, we put up No Smoking signs but you still had to put out ashtrays for people who chose to ignore the signs,'' said one salesperson.

''Now there is the problem of small children who drip ice-creams all over the carpet and put their sticky fingerprints on the mirrored wardrobes.

''Recently, I saw a man approaching the door with a dog on a lead. You can't say anything but I was praying we wouldn't end up with a puddle on the floor.

''Toilets in the show homes are a problem, especially with children - they just have to see one and they need to use it. The toilets are plumbed in but for hygiene reasons they are not meant to be used.''

Another sales negotiator said: ''The worst thing is prospective customers who come and let their children eat all the biscuits for our teabreaks. We had one client who, having bought a house, came back several times with her wee boy who munched his way through a packet of our biscuits every time.''

And then there is the problem of the ''disappearing towels''; an increasing occurrence now that many show homes have downstairs toilets and ensuites as well as bathrooms.

Ornaments also go missing but site staff say they don't know how people do it because no one's ever been caught in the act - yet.