Cheer up the Blue Brazil

As you know, the Brazil v Scotland game will be a global showpiece. The stadium will be filled to capacity, and more than 100 million will watch the match on television. On paper, we Scots haven't a chance, but that does not stop us fantasising about beating Brazil and going on to win the cup.

If Scotland can't win the World Cup, most of us would like to see Brazil do it. The word ''Brazil'' is music to the ears of football lovers everywhere, the name of the most colourful, talented, exciting team in the world. The very names of the greatest Brazilian sides are poetry - Pele, Zagallo, Didi, Garrincha, Zico, Junior, Jarzhino. And the team: balletic, poetry in motion.

No-one has played what Pele calls ''the beautiful game'' with quite the fluency of Brazil; they have turned the game into a popular dance practised by poor kids on the beaches and in the slums to the rhythm of the samba. And now the Brazilian team are sponsored by your firm. Which brings me to the point of this letter.

Before I get there, I need to explain, in an entirely unbiased way, of course, some things about football in Scotland. We are a land of five million people, a strong footballing tradition, and kamikaze goalkeepers. Over the past few years, though, some things have been happening which will make it less likely that Scotland will qualify for the finals of the World Cup for a long time to come.

Scottish domestic football is dominated by two teams, Rangers and Celtic. These great rivals set the trends in Scotland. Both are consumed by a burning ambition to win a trophy in Europe. In order to do that, they have been spending exorbitant sums of money on foreign players, not many of whom have exorbitant talent to match. Rangers will probably have only one Scot in their team next season.

Neither of the two big teams has invested properly in youth; indeed, Scottish football has lived on past dreams. To try to keep up with Rangers and Celtic, even mediocre Scottish teams are buying mediocre foreign players. The result is that fewer and fewer Scots players are getting the chance to play at the top level. The bleak implications for the Scottish international team in the future are obvious.

You see, Mr Knight, Scottish football needs heavy investment - not in the top teams, but at the youth and community end of the market. So here is a proposal I would like you to consider: how about Nike International sponsoring the Blue Brazil as well as the Brazilian international team?

You haven't heard of the Blue Brazil? It's the cool nickname of Cowdenbeath Football Club, which plays in the Scottish third division. The team consists almost entirely of local teenagers. Unlike the Brazilian world-champion players, many of whom earn sums in the region of #25,000 a week, the young Blue Brazilians, with upwardly mobile dreams but no mobile phones, take home #25 per week plus expenses (bus fares).

Why are my home team called the Blue Brazil? Cynics say it is because the club play in blue, and have the same debt as a Third World country. Between you and me, sir, the real reason is that now and again they play some breathtakingly silky football: so much so that the Brazilian international team are now known as the ''Yellow Cowdenbeath''.

Did you know that there are some astonishing links between Brazil and Cowdenbeath FC? Here are only a few:

n Both have fielded players under the name of Junior;

n Both have scored goals at Hampden Park;

n Both have scored goals against Alan Rough (a Scottish goalkeeper with a challenging hairstyle);

n Both have had players with famous nicknames, eg, Edson Arantes do Nascimento (Pele) and Peter Lamont (Sumo).

n Ayrton Senna was a famous Brazilian racing driver; Gordon McDougall, chairman of Cowdenbeath FC, was a champion stock car driver;

n Brazil is famed for its carnival in Rio; its Scottish equivalent is Cowdenbeath Civic Week.

Pretty amazing, eh? I could go on, Mr Knight, but I'm sure you get

the point.

Finally, I would like to tell you about the Blue Brazil's youth policy. Some years ago, a 17-year-old started playing at Central Park (no, not New York, Cowdenbeath's equivalent of the Copacabana stadium). He eventually proved to be one of the classiest defenders ever to play for Scotland, before his career was cut short by a knee injury. Now Craig Levein is manager of Cowdenbeath, coaching local youngsters. Alan Combe, who is about to sign for a premier-division club, and Gary Wood, whom the club recently transferred, are both likely to play for Scotland.

Your Excellency, here is my humble proposal. Without further ado, please make out a sponsorship cheque for #50,000 to Cowdenbeath Football Club and send it to Gordon McDougall at Central Park. Like the Brazilian international stars, the young Blue Brazilians from Fife will parade the name of Nike proudly on their chests. And Craig Levein can fly to Brazil to study the great coaches.

If you will invest only a few of Nike's considerable bawbees (the Scottish equivalent of ecus) in the Blue Brazil, your symbolic gesture for youth development will provide a lead for the authorities, and will put a samba-smile on the face of Scottish football.

You will? Great! Even so, let me confess: I hope against hope that Scotland will gub (a colloquial word meaning ''defeat graciously'') Brazil on June 10. Cheers!