MANY parents believe they can safely criticise their children out of earshot, convinced they are not aware of what is being said about them. They're wrong, says family therapist Steve Biddulph.
Unconscious hearing is something most of us have experienced, he points out - so that even at a party, when the room is buzzing with music and conversation, you can suddenly become aware that someone is talking about you or something that concerns you.
Advising how to tap into children's subconscious to make them feel confident for life, Biddulph explains in Family Life magazine (June issue, #1.95) that there is an unsuspected dimension to our hearing. Although we may not realise it, the sophisticated system is filtering every conversation within range and if a key word or phrase is detected the brain's ''switchboard department'' puts it through to conscious attention.
With young ears able to pick up the sound of a sweet wrapper at 50 metres, choose your words with care - even when children are asleep. Warning that put-downs like ''God, you're hopeless'' can become self-fulfilling, Biddulph likens them to accidental hypnosis.
He explains how parents should instead use positive language that will enable children to respond more effectively to instructions and commands.
Pensioners' action group Strathclyde Elderly Forum is the first Scottish senior citizens' group to set up its own Internet website - at http//:www.StrathclydeElderlyForum.org.uk. It provides information about the organisation, which is a pressure group for 400,000 older people and supplies briefings on topical issues and worldwide contacts. Forum spokesman Bob Harvie tells CheckList: ''The Internet allows us to communicate quickly and cheaply. Even through initial site testing we have made contact with activists in other countries and we hope to share our lobbying experiences and learn from each other.'' The Internet is not the domain of the young, says Mr Harvie, urging more pensioners to get involved in ''the new technology''. For details phone 0141 551 0595.
As the National Depression Campaign prepares to launch in Edinburgh next week, a survey suggests that employers are far less sympathetic to workers suffering from depression than those with complaints like asthma or diabetes.
While three-quarters questioned believed that unemployed people are likely to experience depression, victims are caught in a vicious circle, as firms are often reluctant to hire them - and rebuild confidence - because of the associated stigma.
Dr David Baldwin, a Southampton University expert, says: ''There is an urgent need to educate employers about the seriousness of depression as an illness.''
The magnitude of the problem is often overlooked - one in four Scots could suffer depression at some stage, so initiatives like next Wednesday's may have implications for our own families. Depression Alliance Scotland, a charity supporting the campaign, offers specialist advice. Phone 0131 467 3050.
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