The military phrase ''kit inspection'' took on a new meaning at Sandhurst recently when officer cadet Tristan Gooley went naked on parade to demonstrate that, in the sentiments of

Isaiah, he wouldn't study war any more. As a way of quitting the Army it may not be as sophisticated as that of the conscript who carried a fishing rod and angled for invisible fish throughout his training (''This is what I was fishing for,'' he said when discharged), but it worked, despite eminent precedents for soldiering in the scud.

Unless the illustrations of antiquity lie, the Greeks and Romans went sky-clad in battle; brave Horatius kept the bridge wearing nothing but a helmet, sandals, and the leg nearest the viewer advanced to preserve his modesty. We sympathise with Tristan's ex-SAS father, Mike - Gooleys have always been prominent in the Army, and it must be something of a kick to the Gooleys that Tristan has failed to be outstanding in the same career. Yet imagine how impossible war would be if all soldiers followed Tristan's example! All those poor, forked creatures lined up for battle: they wouldn't be able to kill each other for laughing.