I'VE heard about starting the annual RSNO ScottishPower Proms with a bang, but that was ridiculous. At the first cannon shot of the 1812 Overture I bounced out of my seat, physic-ally recoiling from the shot. The resultant din, not just from the RSNO, directed with almost malicious glee by their principal conductor, Alexander Lazarev, but from the Caledonia Brass in the choir stall, four additional sets of tubular bells ranged around the circle, and those two sonically-hellish electronic cannon, was the loudest noise I have ever heard in a concert hall.

Fortunately, it followed rather than preceded the rest of the

programme, which would have seemed tame (and inaudible) by comparison. The centrepiece - Liz Lochhead's new translation of the text to Prokofiev's Peter and the Wolf - was itself more modest than I had expected. She stuck largely to the story (though the wolf, instead of being shot and gutted - or vice versa, as you might say - was carted off to a zoo; Roald Dahl would've had none of that).

But it was a light, gentle Scottish version, well-delivered by Bill Paterson - with a single footfault when he brought the beast in too early - and excellently animated by the actor who filled his many silences with nifty, witty movements (close to dance).

The first half, with the inter-

jection of a minor piece of Tchaikovsky (featuring Pauline Dowse, principal cellist of the RSNO) was given over to a stream of waltzes by Tchaikovsky, Glazunov, Sviridov, and Prokofiev. A waltz too far, perhaps. The band will dream in triple time after that. Eh? Me? I'm off to see my ear consultant.

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