THAT'S SHOWBIZ
n The voluptuous beauty of cakes, the idiocy of geezers and wimmin's stuff. All form an unholy triumvirate for comedian Jo Brand. The lady in black swoops into Glasgow this week to lend her weight to Glasgow Women's Support Project. Expect the verbal to hit the comedy fan as the ex-psychiatric nurse goes into hee-hee turbo-drive.
Jo Brand and Friends are at the Cottier Theatre, Glasgow, on Friday.
n Heard the one about the Scotsman who made it through to the second round of the World Cup? He was the referee. Boom! Boom! In honour of our national team's unerring ability to get beautifully knocked out post haste, those stadium rockers Del Amitri have recorded a suitable World Cup song. Released today, Don't Come Home Too Soon is an anthem with an aspirational video. It features a satire on the Nike video where the Brazil team play skilful footie around a crowded airport only for golden boy Rinaldo to miss the goal. Blindly dismissing reality, it actually shows the Scotland squad scoring. Del Amitri hope reality will mirror fiction. No bets please.
n Spoon bender and fitness fanatic Uri (pronounced Oooray) Geller is sharing his talents this week. The publication of his Little Book of Mind Power means everyone can learn how to tap into their psychic skills. ''Packed with inspirational thoughts and invigorating techniques to maximise your mind energies,'' boasts the publicity spiel. ''Uri reveals all the secrets of positive thinking, meditation and willpower.'' As one of the most celebrated and investigated paranormalists, Geller first rocketed to fame in the 70s as spoon bender and clock anarchist extraordinaire. In the past he has used his powers to track serial killers, worked for the CIA and FBI and influenced nuclear disarmament talks. So positive is the 51-year-old that this book will unlock the doors of our minds, he says: ''In the world's most famous laboratories I have explored telepathy, psychokenesis, even teleportation - and
the scientists have convinced me of one thing. I'm a not unique. We all have
these powers.''
Such is the man's faith that he encourages readers to take part in a massive mind power experiment. He has sealed a secret drawing in his safe and at 11am and 11pm GMT on the 11th of each month, he will transmit the drawing telepathically. During the total eclipse of the sun at 11 minutes past 11 on August 11 1999, Uri will open the envelope, and the drawing which most closely matches his own will win a valuable rock crystal. What an enticement! Apparently, Uri even cast his good vibes upon the ink that printed the book. Good vibes that may also be attributed to the daily 40 mile cycle ride and his habit of hanging by his ankles from exercise bars.
q Uri Geller's Little Book Of Mind Power is published by Robson Books at #2.50.
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