Scotland u21 1
Austria u21 0
Scorer: Scotland - Lynch (65)
SKY Television are renowned for their reluctance to reveal viewing figures. Somebody, somewhere in the bowels of the satellite station's London headquarters, will be party to the armchair audience for last night's international friendly. Sometimes it's better not to know.
Those who did tune in last night would likely have been comatose by the time Simon Lynch raised what amounted to a whimper at Dens Park. This was one for the maso-chists.
Using every opportunity to arrest Scotland's sliding status has been the stock and trade of the German governors. Quite what can be gleaned from a such a soulless success is debatable, but a coach's eye, we are often lectured, is sharper than the mere observer's.
It at least ensured a positive preamble to the match which matters most to Rainer Bonhof's squad, the forthcoming qualifier against the Germans, who share top spot in the group.
Dens Park, that ricketty, rusty remnant of a time when Scottish football was as cosmopolitan as a peh, does not possess a rich history as an international arena.
In fact, only twice before have the other dark blues brought their roadshow to town. Maurice Malpas had a full head of hair when the under-21s of 1983 entertained Switzerland. Mr Consistency was not ever thus; setting up a goal for the ageless Eric Black only to blot his copybook by conceding a penalty at the other end. Little wonder, then, that Malpas struggled to recall the occasion.
Spain were invited to the north-east in the winter of the following year. Suffice to say, Dundee at its dankest proved a culture shock.
This was third time lucky; originally scheduled to be played across the road, the SFA jumped the dyke when they discovered the dreadful extent of the Tannadice pitch.
The atmosphere unsurprisingly subdued, a full rendition of Flower of Scotland induced more snores than roars. David Taylor, distinctly anti-anthem, would not have approved.
The game hardly illuminated proceedings and, having endured almost an entire half of this mind-numbing non-event, the referee took it upon himself to provide some light entertainment.
His far-side assistant flagging a rare Scotland attack, the bold Emil Laursen demonstrated the much-under-rated Danish sense of humour by bludgeoning the ball into the back of the net. It was a strike of which Emile Heskey would have been proud. Sadly, Bonhof's boys could not emulate such predatory prowess.
They might even have been a goal down by then. Florian Sturm, the young Rapid Vienna striker who shone alongside his club-mate Roman Kienast, dispatched a dull dunt off the crossbar of Derek Soutar, the only man appearing on home soil.
Scotland's only effort of any note was as surreal as this whole episode. Shaun Maloney, lost among defensive giants hitherto, manoeuvred himself some space on the bye-line and his shass (somewhere between a shot and a pass) took a dangerous diversion off the leg of Stefan Kulovits.
The panic-stricken Austrian goalkeeper, Hans-Peter Berger, breathed a sigh of relief when the ball rolled tantalisingly across his line before steering itself to safety.
Soutar was replaced at the break by Rangers' second-choice doorman, Alan McGregor, and it can be safely assumed that fatigue was not a contributory factor. We did not even get to enjoy a titillating pole-dance from Tam McManus, master of Hibernian high-jinx.
His impromptu gyration at Tannadice roused only anger from Bobby Williamson and he is hardly flavour of the month with his national coach, either, after questioning his selection for the Iceland qualifier.
How refreshing to see such petulance prevalent in our game again. Insufficient to spare him for the second half, though, as Simon Lynch's journey from Preston was made worthwhile.
McGregor's first five minutes were more productive than the seemingly elongated 45 during which Soutar spectated. Sturm again breaking the monotony, his drilled effort denied by the sturdiness of the goalkeeper's shinpads.
Lynch's summons, it transpired, would save us from a stalemate with a move born in Barrowfield. Maloney, his one-time Celtic youths strike partner, dispossessed Alexander Ziervogel and slid the ball into the danger area occupied almost instinctively by Lynch. The finish was befitting of a cherished goal-getter. The evening would have been unbearable otherwise.
Scotland U21 (3-5-2) Soutar (McGregor 45); Caldwell, Kennedy, Crainey; Canero (Duff 57), Kerr, Stewart (Montgomery 55), Hughes (Noble 71), Pearson; Maloney, McManus (Lynch 45). Subs: Dillon, Gordon Booked Caldwell
Austria (3-5-2) H Berger; Ibertsberger, Pircher, M Berger (Paushenwein 67); Parapatits (Kuhrer 75), Horvath (Samuel 82), Kulovits, Ziervogel, Sturm; Linz, Kienast (D Berger 49). Subs: Gspurning, Kuhrer, Kampel Booked Kulovits
Referee E Laursen (Denmark)
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article