No effort or expense has ever been spared for the midwinter feast. The more exotic and unobtainable the ingredients, the better, but what passed for treats in the past are pretty common and consequently fairly cheap these days. So we need a new kind of exotic and unobtainable.

Meat has always taken centre stage. Boar’s head feasts date back to pagan times, and were eagerly adopted by Christians and linked in to their nativity story. Swan, goose and peacock were gradually added to the menu. As with most of today’s ingredients, the modern favourite, turkey, is fairly low cost and frankly not the tastiest meat.

Although vegetables have always been considered only fit for peasants, fresh fruit from much warmer climes had a certain cachet. Of these, the first were oranges. It's thought Seville oranges, the bitter Citrus aurantium that we now use for marmalade, first appeared in England at Beddington Park, Croydon. They were grown from seed which Sir Walter Raleigh had reputedly given the owner in 1560.

But it took another century for sweet oranges, Citrus x sinensis, to reach the British Isles. This led to the invention of special new greenhouses.

As soon as these orangeries were ten a penny in every big house kitchen garden, attention turned to an even tougher nut to crack: the pineapple. This tropical fruit needs light and ventilation, as well as the heat required by oranges. Oranges were easy to grow for Christmas, but pineapples ripened naturally here in July and August. Undeterred, no time or money was spared to let the best head gardeners prepare the fruit for the Christmas table.

The first detailed instructions on pineapple growing appeared in 1721, but it took several decades of experimentation to work out the ideal techniques. Vast stoves or greenhouses were developed to accommodate up to 120 pineapples and, since the fruit took two years to grow, were expensive, especially because of a crippling glass tax. Everyone who was, or wanted to be, anyone needed a pineapple house, so huge quantities of propagating material had to be imported from the West Indies.

This early global trade introduced two of our first alien pests: thrips and mealy bugs. Head gardeners were pretty gung-ho in their war against pests, taking pineapples out of their pots and immersing them in tobacco water for 24 hours. Other recipes included water, soft soap and quick silver. Gardeners were expendable when any of these chemicals damaged their health.

Dangerous as these methods were, they’re chicken feed compared to some modern techniques. Costa Rica is, by far, the largest producer of pineapples, but it’s been estimated by its national university’s Toxic Substances Institute that no less than 20kg of herbicides and pesticides are applied per hectare. The soil is completely sterilised, removing every last vestige of biodiversity. And the ground water is so contaminated that residents, after enduring years of bad health, now have to collect their water from tankers. The chemicals used are all banned in the EU.

Some cheap Christmas goodies come at a crippling environmental cost. I could go on, but seeing as it's Christmas I'll bite my tongue. I do believe locally and sustainably produced food is much more precious and, yes, exotic, than so-called affordable products which are transported here from halfway across the world.

Perhaps inevitably, any food from the garden or a window box trumps all. Freshly dug or picked veg or herbs will cheer your soul as well as your taste buds. Get some much-needed fresh air by harvesting some of your dinner before overindulging. It is as challenging now as it was a couple of centuries ago to grow and store fresh fruit for Christmas, so organic or Fairtrade is the best alternative.