'I was blown away by the Beatles of baking. The food here is fabulous'

Another true story: I’m walking into town very early on Saturday morning because, frankly, well, I need to lose some weight, and as I amble down Langside Road in Govanhill what do I see: an enormous snaking, stamping, shuffling queue. For what? Food.

At this time? There’s dank grey cloud almost touching tenements, rain spitting nastily and it’s already winter-cold. Yet I see people actually brushing water from chairs, taking that food, sitting down and eating. Outside.

So, I get as close as I dare without getting lynched for queue jumping. Which is not that close. Peer inside. Laden shelves, burnished things, appetising smells. That queue continuing inside, coiling towards a counter. People behind that counter. Ovens behind those very people, trays, racks.

Sheesh, it’s a bloody bakery. And at this point I realise I’m never getting in that door to try any of it it unless I invest, well, way too much time.

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I amble on into town instead. Stopping for a fresh, though not in the least bit slimming, Kiyamali Pide at the considerably less fashionable Istanbul Cakes on Bridge Street.

But by the afternoon, I’m back. And...it’s still queued. Those shelves that were absolutely chocka with baking this morning? Almost empty. Sack that.

Attempt No 3 then? Sunday morning. Just after 9am. Yeah, of course, I take the car. And at this time the queue is bearable. I’m soon in the door and, ah, I recognise these people now.

They’re the couple from 287, that smash-hit bakery that used to be on Victoria Road, that suddenly shut. And the bakers went to India didn’t they, or so I heard, to an ashram, or so I was told. Like The Beatles. Yeah. But the Beatles of baking.

Sadly, there’s no time to discuss any of this with the man behind the counter as, frankly, that Sunday queue is breathing down the back of my neck.

Two Eight Seven comes recommended (Image: free)

“Does, er, this place have a name,” is all I think to clumsily ask after a quick nod. There being no sign of one out there or over the door. “Yes,” comes the reply. It’s 287”.

And so it comes to pass that after a flurry of panic ordering from me, a paper bag stuffed with goodies, a coffee collected from the lady at the machine by the door I’m sitting outside in what is a cross between a garden, and a piece of spare ground. With tables.

That food? A sourdough, what else these days, roll. A big, robust, sprawling, crunchy then pillowy meal of a thing filled with thin sliced Scottish Gouda and Krautworks Sunshine Kraut (£4.50). A meal in itself except I show some restraint: cut a section and then taste (excellent), bag for the family to try.

And move on to bag two. A Happy Marriage Cake (£4) - Icelandic apparently - more of a huge slice really, zinging with apple and cinnamon, textured with nut and yet...moist and chewy.

Chestnut Oat and Honey Shortbread anyone (£3)? Crumbly, again super-moist and yet still solid and smacking of honey. This actually reminds me of my Mum's shortbread, never, ever hard in texture.

A cheeky Plum and Hazelnut Mazarin (£3.50) to follow. Flaky, puffy, pastry tart it is, the well in the middle stuffed with sweet, sour, tangy plum.

I really now have to take a bite from one of their Eccles cakes, never seen this in a bakery before, raisiny, crispy-crunchy and just £3.50.

Honestly? I order oodles and yet still miss out on scores of things.

Those weirdly interesting and fleetingly glimpsed macaroni pies for example, blackberry and apple scones, cheese and pickle croissants, squash, sage, almond and rye tarts - some country-style pizza slices that they label Grandma #1 and Grandma £2.

Get Ron's review two whole days before it appears anywhere else.

If 287 has a weakness it’s this: there’s no menu outside. No menu online. They bake all night and sell all day. But when the queue suddenly spits me out at the counter there just isn’t enough time to take in the whole Aladdin’s cave of food.

So yes, I’ll need to go back. And back again.

Menu: Hand baked breads, sandwiches, cakes, Eccles cakes, Happy Wedding Cakes, Blackberry Scones. 5/5

Service: Counter service with a queue behind, only time for a quick word and a pleasant tone. 3/5

Atmosphere: People were sitting outside drinking coffees and eating baking in the October drizzle. Super-buzzy vibe. 4/5

Price: This is robust, generous, high- value baking. Way worth it. 4/5

Food: They make 'em big, and they make 'em bold, and the flavours are knock-out good. Even that roll with Gouda and Saurkraut was a meal in itself. Fabulous. 9/10

Total 25/30

Two Eight Seven

287 Langside Road

Glasgow

Opening hours: Saturdays and Sundays only from 9am