As the soon-to-return inhabitants of Ramsay Street assured us over many years, “Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours.” Indeed, for most of us, neighbours are a fact of life that can have immense impact on the quality of our lives, even determining whether we feel happy and safe in our own homes. Relationships with the people next door can even influence our mental health.
Those with challenging neighbours often feel increased levels of stress as soon as they drive into their own street. It doesn’t need to be extreme behaviour as shown on programmes like Neighbours from Hell. Consistent low-level disturbance and tension has a cumulative effect. According to Which? magazine, around ten million people in the UK claim to be adversely affected by their neighbours’ behaviour. Noise being the main cause of complaint.
A few years ago, after 30 years in splendid isolation in rural Aberdeenshire, we decided it was time to move nearer the city. As elderly purchasers, we understood having neighbours would be a culture shock, but how to identify potential problems? How much can you tell from a casual drive around a prospective purchase?
Multiple visits at different times of the day and week can help. There are some obvious alerts including, deliberate or neglectful garden rewilding. Trampolines and football goals placed against a shared fence immediately ring alarm bells. Yes, yes, I know, youngsters need somewhere to let off steam. Nevertheless, when you’re in your 70s, it’s something you can do without. It's also worth looking out for potential parking flashpoints, especially at weekends. A four-car family can be a real cause of strife and on occasion, has even led to murder.
Of course, we asked the seller about any problems with neighbours. Are they really going to be open about the nightmare family next door? I know there’s an obligation to report issues that have arisen in the past five years. It’s more than likely any comeback will be met with, “Well, they were fine when we lived there.”
The seller of the house we eventually bought assured us that it was very quiet and most people in the street “were elderly like yourselves.” As it turned out, that was true, but some purchasers discover the awful truth only after they sign on the dotted line and move in.
Even buying into a street where most of the residents are elderly is not without risk. Elderly people have a habit of dying or moving into care. If the house is relatively large, it’s odds-on it will be bought by a family and the whole nature of the street can change overnight. Light-stealing extensions and planning disputes loom large. Younger people socialise more than we oldies and noisy parties cause friction.
Some friends had neighbours who regularly partied until 4 or 5am. On one occasion my friend could stand it no more and hammered on their door. He informed the host that, “We’re trying to sleep next door.” “Well, I suggest you go back to your bed, then,” was the retort. Not much you can say to that.
While noisy music seems to be the biggest issue, there are others that can lead to rapid escalation. Pets, particularly yapping dogs, are a real irritation. What can you do when next door’s cat uses your garden as its personal loo? A relative in England lived in semi darkness due to a neighbour’s 15ft leylandii. They were removed, but soon replaced by fast growing beech trees not covered by high hedge legislation. The roots are now cracking her patio.
It’s good advice not to become too friendly, too soon. In that situation disputes can go nuclear very quickly. As the old saying goes, “a good neighbour smiles over the fence, but doesn’t climb over it.” It’s always wise to set and observe boundaries and realise “just dropping by” isn’t always welcome. Being able to smile and wave to your neighbour is probably a wise boundary. At least opening the possibility of compromise and discussion when issues inevitably arise.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel