Goose discusses David Schwimmer, five-star reviews and Elton John.
Tell us about your Fringe show
It’s your run-of-the-mill show about David Schwimmer trying to save the world, with fun cutaways about alcohol, drugs, and porn. It’s a breakneck, poly-character one-man comedy performed by an MDMA marionette. You won’t know what’s hit you, but you’ll like it.
Best thing about the Fringe?
Reading your 5-star review from the Herald and Times. Always a big day. Also, when you find out your pre-Edinburgh publicity worked: a packed room from day one, with everyone whispering ‘Well if their show is as good as their answer to question 2, I’ll be impressed! They even predicted I would say this somehow’.
Worst thing about the Fringe?
When the Herald and Times stab you in the back and give you an honest one-star. Also, that period when alcohol no longer helps suppress the stress you feel, but you’ve got to wait about 48 hours until the Stockholm Syndrome kicks in.
How many years have you been coming to the Fringe?
Third year. More numerical questions please – there’s less expectation on us to be funny.
Favourite Fringe venue?
We love Assembly - this year we’re in a really nice, intimate, in-the-round venue they have called ‘The Box’. There’s beautiful lights, not too hot, a policy of executing hecklers, Elton John doing the lighting, the fact they’ll actually have us. Perfect.
Best Fringe memory?
We tend to repress all our Fringe memories, so it gets a bit murky. Think there was something about being in a church with a priest? Might be getting confused though.
Best heckle?
Best heckle we’ve ever had was ‘I could do better than this!’ so we let him up onstage to prove himself. Best heckle we’ve ever done was ‘You’re even worse than the last guy!’. We did it to the guy we let up on stage.
Craziest on stage experience?
I think we kind of normalise how ‘crazy’ it is onstage. When you crack an egg onto your own head every day, and all you’re thinking about is ‘I need to get the right ratio of albumen to yolk in this crack, or I’ll not get the laugh’, it probably suggests you’ve lost all sense of perspective. Sorry - dignity. All sense of dignity.
What’s on your rider?
Not much - pre-show we just down a couple of cool ones and dance around to Anastacia. But she’s often hard to book for the rider, and when she can come she also wants a rider. It can get quite complex.
How do you wind down after a show?
I normally just head out for a light jog. It helps keep me fresh and also away from the mob with pitchforks who are demanding a refund.
What do you love about Scotland?
Their booming pitchfork industry. To be honest, I only know Scotland from the Fringe, but from what I can work out you’re a proud nation of jugglers and am-dram English drama students. But you guys must hate it when the Fringe comes and everyone brings haggis and kilts. How stupid is that stuff!
What do you like about Edinburgh?
The Tattoo. Screeching bagpipes, soldiers, pyrotechnics. Man, that guy had a crazy tattoo.
What’s the most Scottish thing you’ve done?
Finally learning how to spell the word kaylee. Keyleigh. cighligh. Irn Bru. Kaelee. Cayelee. Ceilidh.
What kind of jokes do a Scottish crowd seem to respond to?
Weirdly, the ones we’ve worked on. I guess they’re quite picky in that way.
Favourite joke?
It requires too much context for this space, but I’ll try and recreate it. My Uncle Dan (heavily diabetic) said to my sister Mary (one arm, hates football) ‘Ha! Glad you bought that popcorn then?’. Brought the house down.
Goose: Kablamo will perform at the Assembly George Square Theatre from August 6-30.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here