VisitScotland staff must be among the jammiest workers on the planet. Every day is a potential lie-in as yet another programme comes along providing acres of adoring, and free, publicity, the latest example of which is Britain’s Most Beautiful Road (Channel 4, Saturday).

As the West Highland terriers in the street know, the title refers to North Coast 500, described by the makers of this four-part series as “one of the world’s most incredible coastal routes”.

That was just the start of a stream of superlatives. If you were looking for a hard-hitting investigation into the downsides of living alongside a tourist magnet it was not to be had here. The subject of over-tourism was tackled, but in the most upbeat of ways.

We saw Chas the access warden, for instance, one of 22 hired by the council to manage the impact of tourism, ask one group not to dry their wetsuits on a road sign. They agreed cheerily to move the offending items and Chas went on his way. He asked another couple to move their camp site and they, too, were happy to oblige.

Chas did say at one point that most people were good but he definitely preferred animals, so maybe there is worse behaviour and a few rammies to come in the next three episodes.


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Chas was hoping to be promoted to ranger so he would have a job after the summer. Elsewhere, a surfer couple were thinking of moving to a new location along the route, and a pottery designer was wondering if the new bowls he was making for a local chef would pass muster.

None of it was high drama, but it did not need to be. The landscape supplied the thrills here and the programme makers knew it, packing in as many shots of epic gorgeousness as they could.

If you did want jeopardy there was always the sight of holidaymakers John and Sue, who had just picked up a motorhome, trying to get out of the car park. Beat that Bear Grylls.

As if to balance the positive glow left behind by Britain’s Most Beautiful Road, along came Irvine Welsh’s Crime (ITV1, Wednesday-Thursday). Before getting down to business the viewer was warned about “graphic scenes of a sexual nature”, “very strong and discriminatory language” and “bloody images of violence”. Aye, it’s being so cheerful that keeps our Irvine going.

This, the second series of Crime, was shown on ITVX/STV Player last year. It opens with DI Ray Lennox (Dougray Scott) back at work after that unpleasant business with a serial killer in series one. Ray is feeling good, he’s back at work, it’s a new dawn and all that jazz, so of course it’s only a matter of time till he’s screaming into the abyss that is his life.

Given everything going on, from murder in high places to transgender politics and police corruption, Crime ought to be a rollercoaster ride with the brakes off, but it chugs along like an auld ghost train, lurching this way and that in wholly predictable ways. It looks the business though with the Edinburgh and Glasgow locations bathed in moody, Scandi tones.

The main attraction throughout is that man Scott, closely followed by his almost namesake Ken Stott, playing police chief Bob Toal. Maverick cop, exasperated boss, it’s by the numbers stuff, but it’s Irvine Welsh’s by the numbers stuff for those who like that sort of thing.

Irvine Welsh Irvine Welsh (Image: Gordon Terris)

Popped by the new series of First Dates (Channel 4, Tuesday) to see how it was holding up after all these years (now on its 22nd series since you ask). The restaurant is in Bath now instead of London, but most of the staff are the same, including Fred the host, Cici the waiter and Merlin the bartender. Oh, and the fundamental things still apply, like men paying for dinner. Whatever happened to feminism, ladies?

First through the door was Hayley. “Oh my God,” said Fred, “and you can’t find a man?” her date for the evening, Glen, also scrubbed up nicely. Together they looked like an advert for a dating agency. Ken and Barbie, said one of the waiting staff.

But it wouldn’t be First Dates if there wasn’t heartache lurking somewhere, and Hayley and Glen had their stories, both of which unfolded at just the right pace thanks to the typically brilliant editing at work.

The matches are mostly a success because the programme brings together people who have something in common. Rocket or dating science it ain’t. It doesn’t always come off (the tattooed Sarah and Dan from Wales), but when it does (William and Zara, both on their first ever date) it’s irresistible.

The award for the glossiest documentary of the week went to Corridors of Power: Should America Police the World? (BBC4, Tuesday). This look at American foreign policy and the country’s swings between isolationism and intervention was packed with well-kent faces and silky cynicism. Here was Paul Wolfowitz, former US deputy secretary of defence, on the first Gulf War: “If Kuwait grew bananas we would never have liberated Kuwait.”