Margaret Livingstone, 45

I AM the national co-ordinator for Family Services at Scottish Families Affected by Alcohol and Drugs. We support people who are affected by a loved one's substance misuse. We have family support groups across Scotland and I co-ordinate family interventions. We also work in alcohol and drug partnerships to raise awareness of the issues involved and to provide a service to family members affected by misuse.

My job never gets dull. Family dynamics are so complex and there are new things I learn every day. The other day we had someone aged 94 contact us.

Alcohol and drug misuse know no education, class or financial boundaries. It's emphatically not something that just affects deprived areas; we get many professional families reaching out to us as well. We also get some contact from families from ethnic backgrounds.

I trained as a counsellor and work therapeutically with individuals and couples. I enjoy the challenge of trying to make a difference to people's lives. Before this job I worked with an alcohol organisation. I also did some family work, and wanted to do more. I believe lots of energy – and services – can be channelled to people who misuse alcohol or drugs. It's important, too, to recognise that their families have needs as well.

We're funded directly by the Scottish Government and help carry out its alcohol and drugs strategy. The government has said drugs misuse costs Scotland £3.5 billion a year. The impact of alcohol misuse is around £3.6bn a year.

It can take family members up to eight years before they get in touch with us. They are living for a long time with stress and anxiety, with fear and shame and guilt. There's a stigma that can stop them coming forward if they feel they may be judged. The stigma is very much with us even though it has been chipped away at.

Some people have told us they can even feel judged by other family members, by their community or their colleagues, or even by other services they come into contact with. They tend to shrink their world so that it becomes quite small. In the context of a loved one's substance misuse, it's almost akin to shutting the curtains and trying to contain things, to keep everything quiet. So it takes them a long time to begin the process of reaching out and saying, "I need support in my own right."

Even when they make the call, though, they still tell us they would like their son, daughter, husband or wife to get clean or stop drinking; they're still talking about someone else and not about the fact they themselves need help. We tell them which services are available for their family member and for themselves.

Our Telehealth service works via phone, email or web chat, and targets people in remote or rural areas. If the stigma stops someone from coming to our door, they might feel more comfortable and relaxed if they contact us by phone. Our Craft programme helps people move from a confrontational way of communicating with the person doing the misusing to a more motivational way, encouraging the family member to seek treatment while setting boundaries and protecting themselves.

We monitor results by measuring a caller's situation when he or she first contacts us against what has been achieved. People generally feel safe and happy that they can share their stories with others in similar circumstances. They're relieved to be able to laugh again. They share tears and laughter in the support groups as well as learning new skills.

Visit sfad.org or call 0808 0101 011.

Russell Leadbetter