Which school did you go to?
After three primary schools in Rochdale (Oakenrod, St John's and St Gabriel's), I went to St Bede's College in Manchester - a Catholic Grammar of some 650 boys. It's now an independent with 1000 and more, including girls (! ! ) in the sixth form.
Top teacher?
I remember particularly the diminutive priest who taught PE (he was a Scot, I'm afraid) who clearly derived sadistic delight in humiliating the physically ungifted to entertain his sporting favourites. The most terrifying was R J (Ron) Smith, the classics teacher, whose gaunt, menacing presence and teaching methods were universally feared. A by-product of that fear was a 100-per cent exam success rate in GCE Latin and Greek - quite interesting, in retrospect. Failure to achieve the required standard resulted in a rather heavy leather strap applied with gusto to the outstretched hands. I met Ron again a few years ago when he came to see a play I was in. He turned out to be a charming, gentle and witty man who spoke of his early fear of not being able to keep order in a class of 35 13-year-old boys and therefore came in heavily "for the first year or so" - my years! He told me he eased off
later. But I have never forgotten a word of my Latin or Greek and got As in both at A Level. Draw your own conclusions. Another key teacher was A W "Spike" Martin - a charismatic, genius English teacher who inspired me with an abiding love of our language.
Were you hard-working or hard work?
Quite hard-working but, I must confess, a bit of hard work. I frequently received reports along the lines of "if he devoted as much time to his work as trying to entertain his classmates, he would do much better".
First team for everything or last to be picked?
I was always last to be picked, as I was woefully undersized until I was about 16; hard to believe now, but true. As a result, I didn't discover the joys of sport until some time after leaving school and regret those failed opportunities. The nonproficient boys were not well catered for or encouraged at all.
Belted, birched or bawled out?
Occasional recipient of the strap, usually for talking or "messing about".
Sad to say bye or longing to leg it?
Neither sad nor glad, I took it in my stride.
What was your best year?
When I discovered (via the school's annual Gilbert and Sullivan opera - all boys) that there was something at which I was more than just competent - acting. My first review (in the school magazine) read: "Colin Baker threw himself with great verve into the part of Phyllis (in Iolanthe - I was 12 and the soprano lead) and rarely strayed more than half an octave from the note." I thought it a good review at the time. And it set me off along a path . . .
What do you wish they taught now?
Schools are battling to maintain discipline. Parents expect schools to control their children when they decline to do so themselves. The schools are hamstrung by the new PC attitude to "crime and punishment" and if there is no discipline at home, the schools don't have a hope. Whatever sanctions are applied, discipline has to be restored to give society a hope of returning to those halcyon days when children knew what the boundaries were and what would happen if they crossed them. And I think they would be happier, as well as the adults around them. Here endeth the lesson!
Boys on tour - what was the best school trip you ever had?
We only went on pilgrimages to Lourdes and Rome. Lots of praying and hymns in churches. Not much more to report.
Colin Baker is appearing in Strangers on a Train at the Theatre Royal in Glasgow from August 21 to 26. For more information 0870 060 6647
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