In football, as you know, there are traditionally "no easy games". Women's ice hockey, on the other hand, appears to be a different matter, at least if you're playing Bulgaria.

They lost 82-0 to Slovakia in the European Olympic pre-qualifying tournament last week. No, that's not a typo, eighty-two goals.

The International Ice Hockey Federation said the result was a new record, somewhat unsurprisingly.

The stats? Slovakia outshot Bulgaria 139-0, scoring with 58.9% of their efforts, and averaged a goal every 44 seconds. Bulgaria also lost 41-0 to Italy and 30-1 to Croatia and went out with a goal difference of -191.

Ahead of this week's Ryder Cup, a similar Europe v USA golf event finished last night, with a small difference: all the players had only one arm. The event was the brainchild of Don Fightmaster who, not content with having the manliest name in history, recovered from having his arm blown off while in the Air Force to become a star of one-armed golf, raising millions for his charity for disabled children. "I don't think the Ryder Cuppers will be more competitive than we are," the 76-year-old, called Lefty by his friends, said. "We're out there fighting for something important."

I took my family up to Arbroath for a day out, to Jumping Joey's fun park and had a bit of fun." - Dundee United's Willo Flood lifts the lid on the glamorous life of an SPL star

Richard Collier, an NFL player for the Jacksonville Jaguars, is still in critical condition after being shot several times just over a week ago. Family tragedy? Sad indictment of America's gun problem? Of course not - this is a marketing opportunity.

Texas Armoring Corporation, a supplier of armored (sorry, armoured) luxury cars, rushed out a press release to assuage NFL stars' fears with their "custom bulletproof car solutions".

"Mercedes Maybachs, Cadillac Escalades, Range Rovers, and other luxury models are our speciality," added Trent Kimball, the firm's shameless CEO.

In other dumb NFL news, Chad Ocho Cinco (see Diaries passim) has been told he has to stick with his original surname of Johnson on the back of his shirt, unless he agrees to buy the estimated 100,000 uniforms Reebok manufactured before he changed his name.

I spoke to Jack Warner on Wednesday and told him what I thought about him and where he should go." - Sunderland manager Roy Keane on how he responded to the Trinidadian FIFA vice-president's strongly critical open letter to him. The Sports Diary is betting there was a bit more to the call than that.